


I Think I Am...

by MixedBerries2020



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Canon Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Jam, Jim Halpert - Freeform, Office, Office Sex, Smut, The Office, casino night, jim halpert/pam beesly - Freeform, jim/pam - Freeform, lemon flavored jam, office s2 ep22, pam beesly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:54:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26731690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MixedBerries2020/pseuds/MixedBerries2020
Summary: What if Pam had given in on Casino Night?[Jim/Pam canon, explicit sexual content]
Relationships: Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert
Comments: 7
Kudos: 90





	1. Casino Night

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

“Um, I don’t know Mom, he’s my best friend.”

“Yeah, he’s great.”

“Yeah, I think I am.” Jim heard her talking as he rounded the corner. Hands in his pockets, he continued walking toward her.

“Um, I have to go. I will.” She hung up the phone, breathing shakily as she turned to face him. “Listen, Jim --”

And then it happened. His lips were pressed against hers and her mind suddenly went blank.

Pam had been kissed before, but never like this. Every nerve ending in her body lit up like a Christmas tree as his long arms snaked their way around her back, pulling her into him. A warmth spread through her as he pulled away slightly, parting his lips. Her limbs moving on their own accord, she brought her mouth to his, as her hands fell on either side of his face. Her mind was buzzing at the feeling. He left her with one small final kiss as she pulled away from him. She opened her eyes to look into his. 

“Jim,” She paused as her hands fell from his face and slid down his chest, “I can’t…” 

The final pang of pain hit his chest as the words fell from her lips. 

“You’re really gonna marry him?” He asked. She stared at him blandly. Not moving. Not answering. He knew this was the last ditch effort of a desperate man. He knew she would undoubtedly reject him. He also knew if he didn’t try everything he could, he would never know for sure. And that little glimmer of possibility was extinguished as he released his hold on her. He trailed his hands down her arms, trying to savor the final touches of her skin that he could. He held onto her hands a beat longer than he should have, trying to quell the tear he could feel tugging at the corner of his eye. He tried to look into her eyes again, but her gaze had drifted to the floor.

But then, as he went to pull away, her fingertips tightened around his. He looked at their hands, then at her face. She slowly looked up to him. With his hands still in hers, Pam guided them back around her, falling on the small of her back. She placed her head against his chest as she mirrored him, placing her arms underneath his to wrap around his tall frame.

This was almost worse than just simply pulling away from her. A final embrace? Really? A pity hug? Whatever it was, it made him feel awful. But the masochist in him could not bring himself to pull away. He would take any bit of Pam he could get. Even if it was in a goodbye.

Pam didn’t want to lose him. He was her best friend, the only person she could be wholly herself with, and the idea of that ending was ripping a hole in her heart. She held him close, not wanting to let go. Memories flashed behind her closed eyes of years of pranks, laughter, jello, yogurt, and grape soda. His laugh was her favorite sound in the world. The idea of not hearing it, or only getting a forced awkward chuckle to cut the tension of life after his confession made her queasy. 

She tightened her arms around him. When he did the same, her mind went blank, and her body numb. She pulled away just enough to look up at him. His nose only a few inches from hers. He sadly looked into her eyes. Then, he saw the change. It happened in an instant, her eyes were concerned, but relaxed. Almost calm. And then, they glazed. And her eyes shifted to his lips. She again brought her mouth to his, closing her eyes. This time was different, there was a slight force behind her lips and his body stilled, not knowing what to do. 

Her mind was numb, the only thing powering her movements was the buzzing she could feel radiating inside her. She couldn’t think, she could only feel. Slowly, her hands slid from the small of his back, around to the front of his chest. She broke from the kiss, her eyes still closed, her nose adjacent to his. The buzz in her body intensified as she felt his breath on her lips. Then her hands were in his hair, and her parted lips were against his. She raised herself to her toes to kiss him deeper and his arms tightened around her more for support. It wasn’t until her tongue darted out to touch his top lip, did he falter. The sensation made his knees go weak and he leaned forward to his desk to keep from falling over. As he did, his cup of pens and pencils fell over, clattering onto the desk.

Pam broke from her intoxicated trance, moving away, but still holding onto his arms. Now he could see the concern return to her eyes. He could see the recognition of what she had just done. 

“Oh, my God.” She stated flatly, guilt flooding her tone. She forcefully pushed away from him and hurriedly walked into the conference room.

Jim’s hands fell to his desk. He was still reveling in the lingering feel of her mouth on his. His heart was pounding, not expecting a kiss of that intensity to be initiated by her. He paused before taking a breath and turning to the conference room to see her pacing. Three steps one way, three steps back. One forearm pressed across her stomach, the other on top, biting one nail on her nimble hand. Immediately, he came back to best friend mode. 

His feelings for her aside, his best friend had just broken her future husband’s trust, and knowing her better than she may know herself, that revelation was going to affect her far worse than hurting his own feelings. He thought about turning and walking away; save himself from any more rejection. 

He couldn’t leave her like this.

He walked into the door frame of the conference room as she turned on her heel to continue pacing.

“Pam?” He tried cautiously, hoping she would stop. She didn't. Lost in her thoughts, her feet kept moving.

“Pam.” he tried again, more forcefully this time, and she stopped, turning to look at him, her eyes watery and anxious.

Now his tone softened. “Pam.” He tilted his head slightly, wanting more than anything to wipe the pained look off her face. But he was unmoving, not wanting to make this worse.

She closed her eyes, a small tear, falling down her cheek. “Close the door.” She said quietly. Confused, he did as she said. He took a step into the conference room, closing the door behind him. She leaned against the table in the center of the room, arms still crossed. They stayed like this for a moment, neither one of them sure what to do next. 

Suddenly, she was up from the table and in his arms. She had crashed so quickly into him, he had to take a step back as he wrapped his arms around her. She tightly wound her arms around his torso, holding on for dear life as she silently cried. He held her tighter as he rubbed his thumb at her back. 

She didn’t know why she was crying. The guilt of what had happened was eating at her, sure. The idea that their dynamic had changed forever was terrifying her. The thought that their friendship could not recover from this was a very real possibility. There were so many emotions flooding her being, but she could only think about one thing; Jim’s lips on hers. She could only think about chasing that feeling that made her entire body go numb with warmth. And it was only Jim that could make her feel it.

After a minute, her tears subsided. He noticed the change, heard her quiet sobs disappear, and he was relieved. She again shut her mind off, just wanting to feel. He tensed when she moved her hand from his back to the door knob behind him, locking it.

He looked down at her with confused eyes. She stared at him for a moment, then simply closed her eyes and kissed him again, her hands traveled up his back, pressing her body into his, and he could barely breathe. He gently placed both hands on either side of her face, mentally scolding himself for pulling her away. She opened her eyes, her face still in his hands, as the last of her tears dried from her cheeks.

“Pam.” He said for the fourth time. Every time he said her name it sent electricity down her spine. “What are you doing?” He asked her.

She paused trying to formulate an answer. She had given up on thinking, but if she tried to connect the dots, she knew exactly what she was doing, and why.

“Making a choice.” She said as she ignored the hold he still had on her and moved into him once more. This time, she was fearless as she kissed him and grazed her tongue across his top lip. This time, he didn’t hold back the breathy moan that escaped his throat as she pressed him into the door. This time, she was not going to break from the trance the buzzing sensation created throughout her body.

This time, he didn’t stop her.

His hands ran down her body, landing on her hips. He pulled her into him, not breaking the kiss. Her hands ran up the length of his chest before landing on the collar of his shirt. She moved her lips to his cheek, then to his jaw, then his neck where she left wet kisses down his throat. He tried stifling his groans to no avail and each sound he made tugged deep at the desire igniting in her belly.

She pulled his collar down just enough to expose the soft skin at the base of his neck, before darting her tongue out to taste the hollow of his collar bone. He leaned his head back against the door, his mind going numb. He was shocked out of the trance however, when her hand slid down his chest and brushed over his growing erection beneath the fabric of his slacks. His eyes shot open, suddenly very aware that Pam was touching him and this was not, in fact, a dream.

His hands shot to her shoulders as he reversed their positions pinning her to the door. His breath was ragged and his eyes wide as he looked into her eyes. The cloudiness was dissipating from her own as he asked her again. “Pam, what are you doing?” 

She stared at him, and feeling the solid door behind her seemed to bring her back to reality. She swallowed hard. She was kissing Jim, was what she was doing. 

She was kissing Jim. 

She was engaged. 

To be married in a month. 

What was she doing? 

She began to look down, staring into the distance. Trying to say the words out loud. Words she had thought about for too long, but never let herself actually say. Saying the words made it real. It made it true. 

She took a shaky breath as Jim let go of her shoulders, taking a step away.

“I don’t want to marry Roy.” She said flatly, staring at the floor. 

The rush that Jim felt at hearing her words was indescribable. For years he had been waiting to hear her utter those words. His head felt light and his knees almost gave way.

“Okay.” He said, trying to sound as level as he could. She raised her eyes slowly to look at him.

She didn’t need to say the words, her look said it all. Jim knew if she came at him again, that that was it. He wouldn’t be able to stop. She took a step towards him and he took a step back. He tried to form the words, any words along the lines of “Wait.” “Stop.” “Go home and talk to Roy.” “Tell him it’s over.” But his mouth ran dry and he couldn’t get the words out before she had backed him into the conference room table.

This time she just started at him, unmoving, until, “Kiss me.”

And he acquiesced. 

His eyes glazed over as he grasped the sides of her face as he pressed his lips to hers, wasting no time plunging his tongue into her mouth. Her soft moan sent warmth rippling through his body and he was gone for sure this time. He turned them both and lifted her onto the conference room table. As she opened her knees, her periwinkle dress shifted to her mid thigh. She wrapped her ankles around his legs pulling him closer to her. Her hands went up under his shirt leaving a tingling trail wherever she touched. The only sound in the room was heavy breathing, the smacking of lips, and soft sighs. As he moved his mouth down her jaw to her ear, she moved her hips into his, looking for friction. Her hands grasped the back of his neck when he huskily whispered in her ear, almost begging, “Tell me to stop.” She responded by grinding her hips into his harder. A quiet moan escaped the back of his throat and she could feel it vibrate straight to her core. Instead of saying anything, she reached for the hand at her back and dragged it up to her breast, squeezing his hand under her own, she licked her lips as she captured his mouth again. Taking the hint, he ran his thumb over her pert nipple beneath her dress. She let out a short sigh as she did and he could feel his own erection pulse in response. She pulled away from him slightly, and looked at him through cloudy eyes. He stopped, gazing back at her through his own hooded lids. 

They stared at each other, not speaking, just gazing. It was the kind of connection where words did not need to be exchanged. They could understand each other with just a glance. And when he placed his hand on her upper thigh, not breaking eye contact, and she gently guided his hand further up to the hem of her underwear, words were not needed to convey what she wanted. 

He hooked his fingers around her underwear, sliding them down her creamy legs to the floor. As he did, he kneeled in front of her, placing light kisses up her knees, to her thighs. She placed a hand at his cheek, forcing his eyes to hers. Her face was pleading, “Jim.” She breathed, begging. 

He stood, captured her mouth again, pulling her closer if it was possible, and her hands fell to his belt. In a moment, it was undone and she was sliding it off of him, tossing it to the side. She made quick work of his button and zipper and before he could stop her, her hand was grazing his erection over the cotton of his briefs and she squeezed. He let out a delicious groan as he tore away from her mouth, leaning forward so she was able to bring her lips to his ear.

“Please.” She begged as she continued to caress him. Her hands soon moved to the waistband of his slacks and she tugged them down along with his underwear.

He took a sharp breath in as the air hit him and grasped her hips again. He pulled the fabric of her dress up to her waist and pulled her closer to the edge of the table. Her hands were in his hair and her mouth was on his, exploring him, tasting every bit of him she could. She pulled herself even closer to him and raised her knees higher, locking them around his hips as he guided himself to her entrance. He stalled, his forehead pressed to hers, gazing into her eyes. She stared back at him intensely and it was as if both of their bodies were on fire.

She uttered one more breathy “Please.” And after a beat he slowly sunk himself into her, not breaking eye contact. He buried himself in her to the hilt and they stayed there, unmoving, coming alive after years of repressed feelings. Electricity crackled through her body, the current flowing to his own, and a warmth consumed them both.

Then, she moved. She rolled her hips, still locked onto his eyes, and it was almost over in that instant. She rolled her hips again, but this time, he met her thrust, and they both let out a short sigh. This time, he dragged himself almost fully out of her, then plunged himself back in, and the moan that ripped through her body was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

Wanting to hear it again, he slid his arm under one knee that was around his hips and pulled her closer. A new moan vibrated through her whole body at the new angle and she closed her eyes, her head falling back. Delighted with the presentation, his mouth went to her neck, to kiss and suckle every inch of her. He grasped her arm with the hand that was under her leg and started moving in slow shallow thrusts. She brought her head back up, purring at the sensation. She latched on to the back of his neck and the hand not holding her knee up, cupped her face. He stared into her eyes as he picked up the pace, her breathing becoming faster. She met his stare, gazing into his soul, and she could feel her orgasm building.

It’s not like she was a newcomer when it came to this, but she was fascinated by how quickly he was bringing her to her release. With Jim, it was unlike any feeling she had ever experienced. And there was something about his thrusts that kept hitting the apex of what she needed.

His eyes locked on hers, he had never felt a connection this strong with anyone. It was as if he had been color blind his whole life and he had no idea what he was missing. Pam made him see everything with complete vibrancy and as he felt his release building, he tried desperately to hold on to her, not wanting this feeling to end.

But there was no avoiding it when she commanded him in a harsh whisper. “Harder.” And he was at her will. His thrusts became more intense and every time he filled her completely, a soft moan would escape her. He could feel her tightening around him and she buried her face in his neck. He kept driving into her harder, the conference table moving slightly with each thrust. His pace getting faster as he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing ragged.

She moaned a low “Oh, God.” As he pushed her over the edge, the leg over his arm shaking slightly as she reached her climax. As he felt her walls tightening around him he groaned as he released inside of her. He moved into her slower, and slower, before he stalled his motions as they both came down, breathing heavy. 

He held her there, her head in his neck, for what felt like an eternity. Both of them wanting to savor the feeling of their bodies together. 

Finally, she peeled her head away from him to look at him. As she did, he felt a pang of anxiety, not knowing what she might be feeling. But when her eyes met his, a small smile spread on her face. The relief he felt wash over him when she gently pressed her lips to his was indescribable. 

She looked back at him, both of them unsure what to do next. He stared into her eyes. “What now?” He asked.

She paused for a moment before replying, “Take me home.”

And his face dropped. She saw his expression change, noting the confusion and added, “Take me home with you.”


	2. Chapter 2

The ride to Jim’s apartment was silent. After everything that had happened in the conference room, there was an air of uncertainty between them. Jim knew for sure that she had said she didn’t want to marry Roy. He knew for sure that she had initiated kissing him. Knew for sure that she had begged him. Her soft and breathy “Please.” still ringing in his ear. But as he looked at her now, she was silently looking out the window with a blank expression on her face.

Pam was lost in her thoughts. Her mind was tangled between figuring out exactly what she was feeling and getting stuck on steamy flashbacks of what had happened not twenty minutes prior. Had she just wasted the last eleven years with Roy? Was she prepared to throw away over a decade of memories? Christmases, birthdays, vacations? More so, was she willing to put it all on the line and possibly risk the most true friendship she had ever had by actually letting herself fall completely in love with her best friend sitting next to her? Her best friend that knew exactly what to say, and how to hold her. Her best friend that knew just how to touch her, how to make her knees weak. She got caught on the memory of his lips at her throat, his hand on her breast, the way he hiked her dress over her hips.

“Hey,” He started, breaking her from her trance. His eyes were on the road, but he glanced at her briefly. “Are you okay?” he asked.

She felt her face flush. It wasn’t that she had been caught red handed thinking about his lips on her, but that the man in her memory was sitting right next to her and snapped her back to reality.

“Mhm.” she said softly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he tried.

She paused for a moment. “... I don’t know.”

“Come on Beesly, you can talk to me.” He said, smiling slightly trying to remind her who he was.

It had worked. A large grin broke out on her face. She looked at him and he looked back briefly before his eyes met the road again. The look on her face was not like one he had seen her give before. He had seen her look at him with admiration before, sure. But this look was different. When she would look at him in the past, there was always a hint of shyness behind her affectionate glances. But in this moment, it was as if the shyness had disappeared, her smile spreading brighter, lighting up her eyes.

She looked down at her hands, remembering who he was. He was Jim, her best friend. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell Roy.” She said, sighing. “He’s always been an angry person, but I don’t think he’s ever been dumped before.” 

Jim simply nodded, letting her continue.

“I feel like I’ve wasted so much time with him. I wasted so much time when I could have been happy.”

Jim smiled slightly, not at her revelation, but knowing she meant happy with him.

“I get it.” He replied. “You spent eleven years with him, it’s hard to step away from something like that.”

She looked at him then, pausing before she continued. “But it’s not.” she said, with sudden emotion in her voice. “What was hard was pretending to be happy with him when really--” she stopped herself, taking a breath in. But he needed to hear her say it.

“When really what?” He prompted, pulling into his driveway.

She paused. “... When I should have been with you.” Actually saying it brought the tears back to the corners of her eyes. 

Jim parked the car as her gaze shifted down to her hands. As he shut off the ignition he gently grasped her face in his hands, getting her to look at him.

He didn’t say anything, just pressed his lips hard to hers as she melted into him. He placed small kisses at her lips, then her nose, then her forehead. He brought his gaze back to her eyes as a small tear fell to her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb.

“You are worth waiting for.” He said, pulling her into his arms.

They got out of the car, noting Mark’s car in the driveway. Jim glanced at Pam. “Just act natural.” He said as they started up the walkway to his door. “...Okay?” she responded in a curious tone.

When he opened the door, Mark was in the kitchen getting ready for a night out bar hopping. “Hey man, what’s up?” Marked asked as Jim entered. “Hey, not much.” he replied. 

“How’d the casino thing go--” he paused when Pam entered behind him. “Hey Pam.” he said smiling. “Hi.” she responded shyly. Mark had known about Pam since the day he met Jim. And seeing her with him, this late at night, caused a knowing smile to spread across his face.

“Uh, pretty good.” Jim said trying to bring the focus back to him. “Kinda boring, but, you know.” Pam smiled agreeing with him, then looking back to Mark, who had a suspicious look slowly creeping up his face.

“Well, I was gonna see if you wanted to hit a few bars, but…” he trailed off but Jim interjected for him as nonchalant as he could. “No, that's alright, don’t worry about it man.”

“Cool.” he said. “Pam?” he jested. She smiled back at him, picking up on his joking tone. “No, I’m good thanks.” She said with a chuckle. Marked grabbed his wallet and keys as he brushed past them. “Alright, well, don’t wait up for me.” He said, walking out the door.

As the door closed behind him the room felt lighter. Pam looked back to Jim. “You think he knows?” she asked him. He looked to the ceiling, thinking. “...Probably.” he said, nodding. Her face flushed as she looked at him slightly scared. “But, “ he paused, taking off his coat, then Pam’s, “He’s also known that I’ve been in love with you since the day he moved in, so…” He trailed off as his words hit her ears, sending butterflies straight to her stomach. Hearing the words and actually feeling them hit her harder than she expected. “In love with you.” rang in her ears and a smile spread across her face. He smiled back at her, that big silly smile that she adored.

….

Letting herself be with Jim had awoken something in her. She was normally shy, reserved, practically prudent. Thinking about him pinning her to the wall, or better yet, in his bed, was something that would rarely cross her mind. And when it did, she would try to urge the thought away before her imagination ran out of control. But now, as she sat at his kitchen island, watching him hold a pot of macaroni and cheese over a burner with one hand and stirring it with the other, all she could think about was his hands, his arms, the way his wrist moved with each stir, the muscles in his forearm moving with each stroke. The way his hand grasped the handle brought flashbacks of the way that same hand had grasped her hips.

But there was a small voice in the back of her head, small, but there. And it was screaming at her. You’re engaged! And she was broken from her trance, instead flooded with guilt.

He was cooking in silence, until, without a prompt, Pam spoke, “I have to tell him.” she stated. He looked over at her and took the pot off the burner, turning the stove top off. 

“Okay.” he said simply. “Do you want me to drive you over there?” He prompted. She looked incredibly nervous all of a sudden and her thumbnail made its way to her mouth. “Or you can call him?” She kept biting her nail and her breathing became faster. He waited for her response, but as she continued to look frantic, he tried to break the tension. “Carrier pigeon?” And again, it worked. Her face softened and she smiled slightly. He really did always know just what to say.

She sat back down at the island, her forehead falling to her hand. “What do I do?” she questioned. He took a breath. “Whatever you’re comfortable with,” he replied. She looked up at him, into his eyes and he smiled at her. 

“Do I have to decide right now?” she asked. 

“Not if you don’t want to.” He said. 

She smiled as he passed her a bowl of macaroni. They ate in silence as Pam pondered exactly how she would handle telling Roy. If she went home right now he would probably be too drunk to handle an adult conversation. Not that he really could handle one when he was sober either. But it would at least be the right thing to do. She could call him and explain, but that seemed too childish. It wasn’t like they were in high school and only dating for a few months; she was ending a chapter in both of their lives. That deserved a face to face conversation. 

She looked over at Jim who was staring at her and smiling. 

“What?” she asked, smiling in return. He looked back down at his almost empty bowl. “Nothing, just,” he looked back up at her, “happy you’re here.” Her smile grew as her tongue peeked between her teeth; his favorite smile. She looked back at her own bowl before responding. “I’m happy I’m here too.” she said. He sighed deeply before finishing his macaroni.

“I think I’m going to tell him tomorrow.” she concluded. He looked up again. “Okay.” He responded. She took a deep breath. “It’s just… I’ve had arguments with him before when he is drunk and it never ends well. Jim stared at her cautiously. “Has he ever put his hands on you?” He almost didn’t want to know the answer.

“No,” she replied, and he could feel his shoulders soften slightly. “Never me, but plates, coffee tables, walls? Sure.” She started picking at her fingers. “But that was always in response to some trivial fight. I just… I just don’t know how he’ll react to this, and I’d rather the conversation be a sober one.” 

Jim reached across the island and placed a hand over her fidgeting fingers. “I get it.” He said warmly. “And you don’t have to explain yourself.” She looked at him then with sad eyes. He continued, “You need to tell him however you’re comfortable with.” He flashed her a half smile. “Besides, I’ve waited my whole life for you, I can wait a little while longer.”

She stared into his eyes for a moment before she chuckled. “That was so cheesy.” 

He stared back at her, not breaking eye contact. “I know, I heard how it sounded after I said it.” He chuckled in return. “Not my best line.” 

Pam giggled looking down at their hands. He followed her gaze. She gently ran her thumb up and down the back of his hand and his body started to buzz. An image of that hand laced in his hair while her body was pressed against him, her mouth hot and open under his lips, flashed through his mind.

He slowly pulled his hands out of her grasp. “So we probably shouldn’t… you know…” She stared at him with questioning eyes. “Nothing should probably…” Her eyes flashed with recognition. “Between us....” he continued. She smiled, nodding in agreement. “Until I tell him…” she concluded. He let out an awkward breath. “Yeah.” he said.

Pam's smile grew as she looked at her hands. Jim was so unbelievably perfect, just the most kind and caring and understanding man. She almost cursed him for it. She knew that this was the right thing to do, they both knew it. But hell, if she didn’t want to throw away her morals for just a few more hours.

“You’re right.” she said. “Is it okay if I sleep on your couch?” He looked at her with feigned shock. “No!” he jested. She giggled again. “The floor then?” she jokingly asked. “Absolutely not.” he said, putting the dishes in the sink. “You’ll sleep in my bed.” 

Pam felt her heart lurch in her chest at the thought of Jim pulling the sheets of his bed up around them, his mouth on her neck, moving below the sheets as he kissed down her abdomen and slid a hand up her thigh.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.”

And the thought was gone.

Pam felt the flush in her cheeks and she was grateful his back was turned. “I’m not gonna kick you out of your own bed.” she tried. 

“Well you’re not sleeping on the couch.” He responded, placing the dishes on a rack to dry. He turned back to the kitchen island and looked her in the eye before continuing, “And we can’t sleep in the same bed.” He said in a low tone. Pam felt a heat radiate inside her at his words. She swallowed hard before responding, “Right.”

\----

Pam followed Jim upstairs to his bedroom. He handed her a pair of his pajama bottoms and a tee shirt, both of them silently delighted in the fact that she would be wearing his clothes. He got her an extra towel for a shower and made his way downstairs with an extra sheet and blanket to make up the couch. 

He could hear the water running and couldn’t help but let his mind wander. He was a nice guy, sure. And there was no way he would push any boundaries, but thinking about her was no crime. Especially now. How she would be lathering herself with his body soap, running her fingers through her hair, standing under the steady stream of hot water. He imagined just for a moment, snaking his arms around her naked body from behind, feeling the water cascading over them both. Placing small kisses down her neck and shoulder and hearing her small sighs, now that he knew exactly what they sounded like. Trailing his hands over her full breasts, then lower....

He heard the shower stop running and he snapped himself out of the fantasy. He finished making up the couch and got a glass of water. He was sitting down with the TV remote when he heard Pam’s footsteps coming down the stairs.

She looked like a dream. Freshly showered, hair still damp, and sporting his old college tee shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. He couldn’t contain the grin that spread across his face.

“Hey.” he said. “All settled up there?”

She smiled back. “Yup.” She flashed him a shy look before sitting next to him on the couch. “And thanks again.” She started, “For letting me stay.” He looked at her with his half smile, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He said, planting a small kiss on the top of her forehead. Such an innocent gesture, but it lit her body on fire. His too, as he lingered there for a moment. She didn’t move away, and neither did he. Just one moment they allowed themselves. To be just close enough. Just close enough before they both pulled away. 

They looked at each other, again with no words needed.

“Uh, you wanna watch something?” Jim awkwardly started. Pam scooched back on the couch slightly before standing up. “Um, no, I should probably get some sleep. Think about what I’m gonna say to Roy tomorrow.” 

“Right.” he agreed. He looked at her for a moment, locking with her eyes before she looked away, nodding. “Well… goodnight.” She said brightly. “Night.” he replied.

She softly walked up the stairs, back to Jim’s room. It was just as she remembered it from the cookout. As much as she was dreading tomorrow, she smiled to herself as she slid between the sheets. Everything smelled like him and she was in heaven. She tucked the blanket under her chin, completely enveloped in his scent, and tried falling asleep.

Jim was still downstairs, flipping through the channels on the TV. Not finding anything, yet not really caring to find anything. His mind was still focused on what had happened. It still felt like a dream. A dream he kept replaying in his head. The feel of her soft lips against his, the pull of her hands as she grabbed his shirt collar. Her breathy moans and soft “please” when he would touch her in just the right way. He shook himself away from the memory before he got carried away. After all, this stunning, amazing, goddess of a woman was just upstairs.

Sleeping in his clothes.

In his bed.

Jim’s heart swelled. 

Because for once it wasn’t a dream. It was real. What they had was real and spoken for, out in the open for the first time, and his heart was soaring. 

He was far too awake now. He decided to shower to try to relax enough to lull him into sleep. He padded his way upstairs, silently peeking into his bedroom. Pam was facing away from the door, breathing slowly. He quietly went to his dresser to get pajamas for himself and left the room.

Pam, however, was awake. And she heard him enter, as well as walk down the hall and turn the shower on. She tried to quell the thoughts that sprang to her mind, but then remembered, she didn’t have to. Now, she could freely imagine Jim’s lips against hers as they stood under the flow of hot water. She could imagine just how amazing he would feel; naked body pressed to hers as his strong arms held her close. Soon. Soon she would have this all the time. And she would drink in every moment she had with him.

Jim turned off the shower and stepped out. The hot water had helped relax his body and he could feel sleep around the corner. After slipping into his pajamas he went to walk back downstairs, stopping by his bedroom and smiling one more time.

Once he was on the couch he pulled the blanket over him, switched the lamp and the TV off and closed his eyes.

As soon as he did, his mind sprang right back to Pam. And he was awake again. He couldn’t turn it off. He tossed and turned for a good forty minutes before giving up. He laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. Then, he remembered the book in his nightstand. The old Copy of Oliver Twist never failed to put him to sleep.

He made his way back upstairs to his bedroom. Pam was facing the door now, but her eyes were softly closed. As silently as he could, he opened the drawer by his night table. Thankfully, the book was on top. He grabbed it and started slowly closing the drawer.

“Hey.” Pam said sleepily. 

Jim looked over at her, scolding himself. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m just grabbing a book.” He said.

She gently rubbed her eye. “Can’t sleep?” she asked.

He smiled, still in awe of the scene before him. “Trying to.” He said. As he went to stand she placed a hand on his wrist. “Seriously, why don’t you just sleep here?” she pressed. “It’s not like we’re animals.” She said with a chuckle. 

“I don’t know...” he started. Now, she closed her hand around his. “And I really do feel awful about you sleeping on the couch.”

He looked at her for a moment, her sad eyes getting the better of him. “Alright.” he conceded. Pam released his hand, smiling as she scooted over in the bed. As he settled in next to her and pulled the covers up, she uttered a soft “Goodnight.” as she rolled over, turning away from him.

Jim laid on his back, surprisingly calmer. He closed his eyes and his mind didn’t have to wander. Pam was right there next to him, and everything was right.

\----

When Jim opened his eyes, the room was dark. There was a weight on his chest. He looked down and Pam was curled up by his side, her head in his neck. His heart began to race. Her small arm was laid around his shoulder and her leg was over his hips. He started breathing faster. 

Clearly Pam was a heavy sleeper.

He didn't remember falling asleep, but he did remember that it certainly wasn’t like this. He went to move his chest out from under her grasp, but when he did, she instinctively held him tighter. He peeked down at her, still sound asleep, and let himself have one moment. Just one moment to breathe her in and revel in the feeling of her pressed up against him. Just one selfish moment before he gently tried waking her.

“Pam…” he whispered. She stirred slightly, but still didn’t wake up. He tried again, lightly moving the arm that was under her. “Pam…”

She slowly opened her eyes, still half asleep. Until she felt where she was. Her heart jumped when she realized and she slowly lifted her head. He met her eyes, their noses almost touching. He gave her a half grin. “You wanna move over a little?” he asked, with a slight humor behind his tone. Pam didn’t catch on. She was currently intoxicated by the feel of his breath against her face and the way she could feel his chest rumble beneath her when he spoke.

In her daze, she barely whispered a “no,” before she slowly raised her lips to meet his. A small pang of shock hit him, but then he slowly melted into her. On instinct, he lazily raised his hand to her cheek, deepening the kiss. She parted her lips against him and grasped him ever so slightly, just a little tighter. Getting lost, he moved the hand under her to the small of her back, holding her closer. When she moved her leg that was over his hip, he took in a sharp breath, breaking the kiss. 

“Hey,” he started, trying to calm his racing heart. “Wading into dangerous territory there, Beesly.” he smiled. She smiled back, her eyes still closed. She rested her head against his cheek. “Maybe you’re right,” she said, still smiling. “Maybe the same bed isn’t a good idea.”

“Yeah.” He agreed, still not letting go of her. They stayed there for a minute, taking just one more selfish moment for themselves before Pam sat up. She rubbed her eyes looking at the clock on the night table. “Well, it’s five thirty.” she said. “Care for some early morning french toast?” She asked. He smiled up at her. “That sounds amazing.” he replied.


	3. Chapter 3

Mark was still sleeping. Neither of them had heard him come home. They quietly made french toast in Jim’s small kitchen grabbing a quick glance at each other here and there. 

Pam plated them each a helping of french toast. Jim smiled up at her, “Thanks.” He said. She smiled back. “No problem.” And sat down across from him at the kitchen island. They quietly took a few bites. Jim didn’t want to pry, but he was curious. He tried to remind himself what her best friend would say, and not what the man head over heels in love with her would say. What are you going to tell him? Are you going to tell him about us? About what happened? Did you want me to come with you? Did you want me there when you tell him?

“Have you thought about what you’re going to say?” He asked.

She twirled a piece of toast in syrup. It felt like over a minute, even though it had only been a few seconds before she answered. “The truth.” she said simply. 

Jim was silent, letting her continue. “I’m not in love with him.” She said. “And I haven’t been for a while.” She took a bite of her toast.

“Sounds like a good place to start.” He replied. Taking another bite. She nodded. She was silent again and he could tell there was something eating at her.

“What?” he asked her quizzically. She looked up at him, smiling slightly, admiring how he could tell, even without words.

“Well, I was gonna ask…” she took a breath before continuing, “If you could drive me?” 

“Of course.” He responded, smiling.

They continued eating quietly, careful not to wake up Mark.

\----

After they finished eating, Jim put the dishes in the sink and the rest of the french toast in the fridge. Pam went upstairs to change into her dress from the previous night. Her mind was racing as the anxiety about the upcoming conversation flooded over her.

She was expecting the usual. The yelling, throwing, perhaps a hole in the wall. She tried to think of what his response would be. He would probably ask if there was someone else. Should she tell him? He was a brute for sure, but would he really go after Jim if he knew? Knew that she had broken his trust, betrayed him, cheated on him? Her hands started shaking as she zipped up the back of her dress. She couldn’t quite get it the last few inches.

She took a few deep breaths trying to calm her racing heart. She felt dizzy. She sat on the bed. She knew for sure that Roy had more than likely cheated on her before. They never spoke of it, and she would never accuse him. But she knew; the nights he would come home smelling like someone else’s perfume, or the random phone call he would claim was from Daryl, at ten thirty on a Saturday night. 

Then why did she still feel so awful?

Jim quietly knocked on the door. “Beesly? You decent?” he joked. She smiled at the familiar nickname. His voice melting her anxiety away for a moment. “Yeah I’m good.” She replied, opening the door. “I just can’t get my zipper.” She turned away as he walked in. “Could you?” she asked. Jim stared for a moment, “Yeah, sure.” He said.

He slowly slid the zipper the rest of the way up, stalling for a beat, gazing at the smooth skin of her back. Pam’s nerves relaxed feeling him behind her, a welcome shiver crawling up her spine as she felt his breath on her neck. Pam slowly turned to him. “Thanks.” She said shyly. “Yeah.” he replied, mouth dry. 

It took all his will power not to kiss her in that moment. She stayed in front of him for a beat before pulling away. He went to his dresser pulling out a pair of jeans. “I’ll change quick and then we’ll go?” He asked. A sharp pang of anxiety hit her again. “Yeah.” she said. She slowly turned and walked back downstairs.

Her heart was thumping in her ears. She sat on the couch, biting her thumbnail. She just wanted this conversation to be over.

After a minute, Jim came down the stairs. “Ready?” He asked her. She looked up at him, her face struck with panic. He paused, noting the fear on her face. He sat down next to her on the couch and instinctively took her hand in his. He didn’t say anything. He just sat there holding her hand.

She relaxed slightly at the feel of her hand in his. Once this was over, she would have this all the time. She would have Jim all the time. Be able to kiss him all the time. Be able to… 

Her mind flashed back to the previous night, how he grasped her hips and lifted her onto the conference room table, her hands in his hair as he kissed down her neck, the feel of him filling her, so completely, so fully.

She held his hand a little tighter. “Let’s go.” She said, a slight confidence in her voice.

\----

It was just before 8am when they got in the car. The ride to her apartment was quiet. The whole ride, Jim held her hand, while her other hand was either tapping the arm rest, or at her mouth, her teeth anxiously biting away at her nails.

He slowly grazed his thumb against the back of her hand, trying to provide some comfort. This, however, was something that not even Jim, the man she was in love with, or Jim, her best friend in the world, could quell. Her heart was beating in her ears, her breaths shallow, the dizzy feeling returning the closer they got to the apartment.

Jim pulled to the side of the road and put the car in park, they were still four or five houses down from her apartment. He looked at Pam, wanting more than anything to take this feeling away from her. “You okay?” he asked. A breathy, “mhm,” was all she could get out. He reached over, caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.

He couldn’t stop himself. He leaned over and captured her lips with his. He gently placed his hands on either side of her face as her hands rested on his forearms. He kissed her softly, lovingly. She parted her lips, softening under his touch. When they broke away, he held onto her and waited for her to open her eyes. When she did, he gazed into them, needing her to know.

“I love you.” He said.

And there was air in her lungs again.

She smiled, and he burned that image into his memory. Her racing heart slowed, her hands stopped fidgeting. He looked back to the road ahead of them. “Good?” he questioned. She smiled back at him. “Yeah.” She responded.

He parked in front of the apartment, not pulling into the driveway. Pam took one last breath before she stepped out of the car. Jim leaned over the console, trying to silence the voice in his head that was begging her to stay. “Did you want me to wait?” He asked. She leaned down to talk to him through the open car door. “No, I’m good.” She said. “I’ll call you later?”

“Yeah.” He responded. She stood straight, then, before shutting the door leaned back down. “Jim?” she asked.

“Yeah?” he responded.

She smiled before, “I love you too.” She said.

She shut the door and his heart soared. She walked up the driveway. He watched her fumble with her keys, then unlock the door and step inside. He was the happiest he could remember being. He again tried to silence that same voice that wanted her to stay. The voice saying she was walking into a bad situation.

\----

He drove back home, trying not to think about the conversation that was happening. Trying not to think about the tears she would inevitably cry, or the way he would raise his voice, or god forbid the way he raised his fist…

Jim’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. He shook the thoughts out of his head. He didn’t know Roy all that well, but he would like to think he would never raise a hand to her. He believed Pam when she had said that he had never physically hurt her. He was an angry guy, but he had to have boundaries. Right? 

Now it was Jim’s heart that was racing. He looked at his cell phone. It was 8:18am. He didn’t know how long a conversation like this would take, but he was sure it would take longer than a few hours. He turned on the radio trying to think of anything else.

\----

When he got home, Mark was up and finishing the plate of french toast from the fridge. They exchanged good mornings before Jim grabbed a glass of Orange juice from the fridge.

“So…” Mark started. Jim looked at him, swallowing a mouthful. “What?” he asked. Mark stared at him. “We’re not gonna talk about what happened last night?” He pressed.

Jim slowly took another sip from his glass. Mark stared him down. “How Pam came home with you?” Jim remained silent. “And clearly didn’t leave until this morning.” Jim took one more sip. 

“Nothing happened.” He replied. Mark eyed him, doubtful. “Sure.” He said in return. Jim put his glass down before opening the fridge to return the carton of orange juice.

“Nothing happened here.” He said. Mark grinned. “Knew it.” Jim closed the door as Mark finished his french toast. “I mean, I don’t know what’s gonna happen, I think I know, but…” Mark looked up at him. “She went home this morning?” He asked. “To her fiance?”

“To break it off.” Jim responded. Mark nodded utter a slow, “Ah.”

“Well, here’s hoping my man.” Mark offered as he stood up with his empty plate. 

\----

Mark worked Saturday’s and left around noon, leaving Jim alone with his thoughts. He tried watching TV, reading, even went down to the park to shoot some hoops. By three thirty he was starting to get anxious. Surely seven hours was more than enough time.

After a shower and handful of pretzels, he sat back down on the couch flipping through the channels. He looked at his phone. 3:48pm - no message from Pam. He watched the beginning of a cooking show, then glanced again. 4:14pm - still no message from Pam. His heart started beating faster. He flipped to a crime drama that surprisingly held his attention for longer than he’d be willing to admit. He glanced again. 4:52pm and still no message from Pam. He thought about driving over, see if he could hear any shouting. Maybe he would find her crying on the sidewalk with a dead phone and no charger. Or better yet, maybe he would find Roy on the sidewalk with a suitcase waiting for his brother.

He settled on a simple text. It’s what her best friend would do.

You okay?

He waited, now glancing at his phone every few seconds. His heart lurched in his chest when the text tone sounded. He opened his phone. She had sent a Yup.

No more, no less. Well, she was alive at least. He took a deep breath and kept flipping through the channels.

His fingers were tapping on his knee at 5:42pm. His heart was racing. Now he was doubting. What if she couldn’t do it. What if at the last minute she decided she couldn’t go through with it. After all, she was supposed to marry the man in a month. What if he had guilted her out of telling him before she even got the chance?

The dream before him was slowly slipping away. He felt childish. He felt stupid. Stupid for thinking that this could have been real. Stupid for thinking that she would choose him.

There was a knock at the door. His breath caught. With shaky hands, he pushed himself off the couch walking to the entryway Slowly, he opened the door.

She was there. Standing before him, and all the anxiety in his body was washed away.

Her cheeks were tearstained and her nose pink. She sniffed before offering him a small, “Hi.”

“Hi.” He responded. 

She started at him for a moment before crashing into him, wrapping her small arms around his chest. He held her tightly, closing the door, planning to never let go.


	4. Chapter 4

Before shutting the car door, Pam leaned back down. “Jim?” she asked.

“Yeah?” he responded.

She smiled before, “I love you too.” She said.

She caught his warm smile before she closed the door. 

She took a shaky breath before walking up the driveway. She shuffled the keys in her hand, unlocked the front door and stepped inside, giving one final glance to Jim as he pulled away. She took another shaky breath as she walked down the hall to their apartment door, the walk feeling like a mile.

She quietly opened the door, not knowing if Roy was still asleep. She walked into the kitchen, hung her keys on the rack and hung her coat and purse. The apartment was silent. She walked past the living room. She could see Roy’s feet hanging off the end of the couch. She also noted the eight beer bottles on the coffee table. Not exactly a rager for him, but still. She silently made her way to the bedroom and closed the door. She took another breath, collecting her thoughts. 

She changed out of her dress and into some comfy clothes, ran a brush through her hair and tied it up in a bun. She was brushing her teeth when she heard Roy stirring in the other room. She wiped her mouth and walked down the hallway. He was getting up from the couch when she turned the corner. 

“Morning babe.” He said groggily, running a hand over his face. “Morning.” She replied. “What time did you come home?” He asked. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”

Her heart thumped in her chest. She paused, debating on her answer. Rip off the bandaid? Ease him into it? Lie? 

“I spent the night at Angela’s.” She decided. “I just got in.” It sounded like a lie in her head. The thumping of her heart was in her ears. “One too many Margaritas.” She added.

Roy smiled. “Got a little tipsy?” He joked as he walked over to her. She shyly smiled in return. “Yeah a little.” His hands went to her hips as he gave her a peck on the lips. She felt a cold pang run down her back. It was a different experience. Roy was familiar, but also foreign now. 

“Proud of you.” He grinned before walking to the coffee pot. 

“What about you?” She asked. “How was your night?” She sat down at the breakfast nook while he filled the reservoir with water. “Not bad.” He responded. “Went out to the bar with Kenny for a few rounds. Came back here, passed out watching TV.” 

“Sounds like a good night.” Pam smiled. Roy nodded in agreement. “Yeah.” He took out the can of Folgers and spooned the grounds into the basket. “Kenny’s going through a rough patch,” he started. “Yeah?” Pam replied numbly. “Yeah, he’s all mixed up with some casino deal, he thinks he’s a great poker player, but he sucks.” Roy chuckled. “Oh?” Pam said, disinterested. Her mind was elsewhere. 

Her mind had fallen back on Jim. His touch, his kiss, his hands in her hair and her hands on his chest. His warm ‘I love you.’ that brought life back to her being.

She only caught the last of Roy’s sentence before she interrupted him.

“... gonna give him the five grand we were gonna put down for the venue--”

“--I’m not happy.” She stated sternly. 

Roy responded without turning around. “Yeah, I figured you wouldn't be.” He said. He sighed, flipping on the coffee pot, turning to face her. He leaned against the counter, folding his arms.

“But, he’s family,” he said, “and your family too.” It took her a minute to register what he had said. She had been focused on her confession to him and the explanation she was ready to barrel through. 

“And besides, we can push the wedding another month or two and take out a loan or something.”

“Wait-- what?” She asked, focusing.

“We’ve waited three years, we can wait a few more months.” He offered.

An anger bubbled up inside her. She didn't know if it was the final straw or if it was being with Jim that gave her the courage to raise her voice.

“What?” she started, “No.” She asserted. 

“Well I already told him I would so…”

“No, I mean--” she sighed. “Roy, I’m not happy.” She said again. “Yeah you said that.” He responded.

She shook her head, irritated. “ No, Roy.” She looked at him. “I mean,” She paused. “I haven’t been happy for a while.” She softened as he comprehended her words. 

“What do you mean?” he started. She looked at her hands, working up the courage to continue.

“I mean....” she started picking at her fingers. “I don’t want to marry you.”

Roy was silent and after a minute she looked up. His face was disbelieving her words. “Wh--” He started. “I mean…” He searched for a response. “Really?” He looked at her then. “Really Pam?” There was the anger. “A month before the wedding, really?” 

“You just said you wanted to push it off again.” She said, allowing her anger to match his. He pushed off from the counter to move to the other side of the breakfast nook. “You’re gonna use that as the reason?” He placed his hands on either side of the counter, standing in front of her.

“No,” she pinched the bridge of her nose. “That’s not the reason. It’s part of the reason, but there's more to it than that.” 

He didn’t move, he just stared her down. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him “What, then?” He pressed. “There someone else?” 

She breezed past the question, continuing. “It’s a lot of things.” She said. “It’s… waiting three years to set a date. It’s the way you talk about other women in front of me. And the way you talk to me.” She looked at him then. HIs eyes were softening. That was something she did not expect. 

“I’m sorry.” He said. “Pam, I’m sorry.” He shifted his weight. “All you have to do is tell me what's bothering you and we can work through it. If I had known that the way I talk to you or about other women bothered you, I would stop. Simple as that.”

She stood her ground. “But that’s the point. I shouldn’t have to tell you that it makes me uncomfortable when you say to my face that a woman has a nicer ass than me. I shouldn’t have to tell you that I want you to talk to me like you respect me.”

“You think I don’t respect you?” he said. “Baby, I respect the hell out of you.”

She stared at him. “No you don’t.” She said simply. “If you did you would have listened to me when I said I wanted no more than a year long engagement, and a small, simple wedding. Not a shotgun wedding at the most expensive hotel in Pennsylvania. You would realize that whenever you talk about other women, I walk out of the room.” She stood from her chair. “These are things that simple decency would clue you in on, that’s not my job to do.”

He was silent for a moment. Taking in her words. “So there’s not another guy?” He asked again. She looked away from him, just for a moment, then looked back. “That... has nothing to do with--”

“Is it Halpert?” He pressed.

She looked away, then down at her hands, picking at her nails again. 

He slammed his fist on the counter and she jumped. “Jesus, Pam.” He muttered. He pushed back from the counter, walking to the sink, crossing his arms and turning to look at her again. “So, were you really at Angela’s last night?” He questioned.

Her heart was back thumping in her ears. She was caught. She slowly raised her eyes to his. Her look saying what she didn’t need to.

Pam jumped when there was a knock at the door.

Roy sighed before walking past her to answer it. 

Their apartment was filled with shrill hello’s from Pam’s sister. Roy escorted her into the kitchen and she noisily hugged Pam. She was in shock.

“Surprise!” Her sister exclaimed. “Roy didn’t tell you did he?” She asked excitedly. She looked back at Roy, thoroughly confused. “Tell me what?” She asked. 

“About breakfast!” Her sister said happily. “He’s such a good doobie,” she joked, moving to hug Roy. “He kept it a surprise.”

“She called last night.” He said flatly.

“I’m taking you out on a pre-bridal shower breakfast.” His sister smiled. “I want to set the shower date in the next week or so. So, I want to know everything you want, Pammy. From food to party games, and decorations to presents.”

Pam looked from her sister, then to Roy. His blank eyes making her nauseous. “You don’t have to do that, really--”

“Come on, get dressed. We have reservations for nine thirty.” Her sister said happily. 

“I mean--” Pam started. “I’m not feeling great--” her sister interrupted her again, “Well, you’ll feel better once you have some mimosas in you.” She turned Pam around by the shoulders and scooted her towards her room. “Go change!” 

Pam gave one last glance back to Roy. He looked at her, indifferent. “Go.” He said with disinterest.

Pam went to her room and threw on a sundress and sweater. She came back out and her sister took her, arm in arm, as they walked out the door. “I won’t keep her too long!” Her sister yelled back to Roy. Pam heard the door slam behind them.

\----

At breakfast, Pam kept checking her wrist watch. It had been an hour and she was thoroughly disinterested in the color scheme of her Bridal shower. She put on the best face she could, for her sister’s sake. Agreeing with their decisions, offering an opinion when she asked. But her mind kept drifting back to the unfinished conversation waiting for her at home. That, and Jim. And when she would be able to return to his arms. She wanted nothing more for this to be over and be wrapped in his embrace. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a sip of her mimosa.

“Are you okay sweetie?” Her sister asked.

Pam looked at her smiling. “Yeah, fine. Just feeling off today.” She said. “We had an office party and I was out kind of late.” 

It seemed to satisfy her. She went back to discussing the menu for the shower and Pam went back to thinking about how she could finish her conversation with Roy.

\----

It was two in the afternoon by the time they left. After talking about the shower, her sister had rambled on about issues at work, then into a conversation about current events and celebrity news. Pam was itching to leave, especially after her sister downed her third mimosa.

They drove her back to the apartment, said their goodbyes and drove off. Pam walked back up the driveway, unlocked the front door, walked down the hallway and into the apartment. 

Roy was on the couch watching TV. “How was it?” He asked without looking away from the screen. “Fine.” Pam responded, putting her purse down on the table. She walked into the living room, noting that the empty beer bottles from the morning had been cleared off the coffee table, but one empty and one almost empty had taken their place. 

She sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Roy. He kept staring at the screen. “So, you banging Halpert now?” If it was possible, her heart started racing faster. “He has nothing to do with why I haven’t been happy here.”

“No, no.” He said, finally looking at her, taking the last swig of his beer before standing up. “That’s all on me, I got that.” He took both empty bottles back into the kitchen.

After a beat, she stood up and followed him into the kitchen. They resumed their previous positions on either side of the breakfast nook. Roy opened another beer.

“So that’s it?” He started. “You’re just going to leave because you’re not happy?” Pam looked at him, trying to quell the tears tugging at the corner of her eyes. “You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

Her eyes welled up, taking a moment before she responded. “I don’t feel like there’s something here worth fighting for.” He stared at her, the severity of her statement hitting him. “Eleven years?” He scoffed before continuing. “That’s not worth fighting for?”

Then, she let the tears fall as she let it all out. Everything he had ever made her feel. The good and bad. What she missed from the beginning of their relationship and what they had turned into. He tried to argue with her, but she wouldn’t have it. Every excuse he gave, trying to make it her fault about the way she was feeling, she would turn back on him, explaining just why he made her feel the way she did and why his excuses made her feel worse. They went back and forth for a while. She got a glass of water, he finished two more beers.

Roy had gone to the bathroom when she heard her cell phone vibrate in her purse. She opened it, a flutter in her chest seeing it was from Jim. 

You okay? Was all it said.

She heard the toilet flush and typed back a quick Yup. before closing her phone and putting it back in her purse.

Roy came out of the bathroom. He walked to Pam’s side of the counter, facing her. She turned in her seat, looking at him. He wiped away a stray tear on her cheek before he uttered a simple. “I’m sorry.” 

She felt a small weight lift out of her chest at his words, thinking he was finally comprehending. 

“And I can forgive you for sleeping with Halpert.” He continued. “I just want to move past this.” Pam closed her eyes, sighing. 

“No, Roy.” She said. “There is no moving past this.” She looked in his eyes, speaking slower. “I don’t want to marry you. That’s not going to change because you apologize.” He moved his hand away from her face, and for the first time, tears were stinging the sides of his eyes. “ “So, what? We don’t even try?” He said. “Try to salvage anything here?” 

Pam paused before answering him, more tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. “No.” She almost whispered. “No, we don't.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I feel like I’ve been trying to salvage this by myself for too long. I just don’t have the energy to do it anymore.” She let out a sob before closing her eyes and bringing her hand to her forehead. Roy closed his arms around her, hugging her. They stayed like that for a while. Not moving, just being. As if they were mourning what was ending.

After a few minutes, Roy gave her a small kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll pack a bag.” He said. She was silent as he let go of her. She watched him walk away with watery eyes. 

She made herself a cup of tea as she heard him rummaging around in the bedroom and bathroom. After a few minutes, he walked back into the kitchen with his gym bag and a small duffel bag. They shared one last look before he silently walked out the door. She heard his footsteps down the hall. It wasn’t until she heard the front door close that she openly cried. 

She sobbed over her tea, half grieving for the end of her relationship, half relieved that she had made it to the other side. She felt the engagement ring around her finger. She cried as she took it off, placing it on the counter in front of her. She made sure to let it all out, not wanting to burden Jim with any of it. 

Jim.

She took one last sip of her tea before grabbing her purse and keys and bolting out the door.

She sped to his apartment, her body relaxing as she parked behind his car. She made her way up the steps and knocked on the door. After a beat, the door opened and he was there. A warmth filled her entire body at the sight of him.

She sniffed before offering a “Hi.”

“Hi,” he replied, smiling her favorite smile.


	5. Chapter 5

“How many Mimosas?” Jim asked, chuckling.

“Three.” Pam smiled, taking a sip of her tea.

“Wow.” He laughed.

The second she had stepped across the threshold, it felt like a new day. She had fallen into Jim’s arms, willing herself to not cry again, and he held onto her tightly. They stayed there for a long time, just breathing each other in. When they finally broke apart, they looked at each other, the weight of the day being lifted away from them. 

“You okay?” He asked, his arms loosely around her waist.   
“Yeah,” She started. “Now I am.” She smiled brightly at him, her head falling to his chest again as she nestled herself in another hug. He brought a hand up, cradling the back of her neck as he rested his cheek on top of her head.

Again, they stayed there in the entryway, reveling in the feel of being each other's embrace.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked after a minute. “Mark ate the rest of the french toast, but I have water, Juice, Tea…” Pam smiled into his chest.

“Earl Grey?” She asked shyly, looking up at him.

He smiled down at her. “Of course.” He beamed.

So they sat at the kitchen island. Pam sipped her tea as she recounted how it all went. The whole time, Jim held her hand, not wanting to waste a minute. He had waited for what felt like forever, and he vowed to himself to never miss an opportunity to hold her hand, or kiss her forehead, or caress her cheek.

“So, it could have gone worse.” She said as she took the last sip out of her mug. “I left the ring on the counter and came right over here.” She said.

He could see the mixed emotion in her eyes; the relief that she was out of the relationship, but also saddened that she was closing a chapter in her life. He wanted to erase it from her face.

Then he realized… now he could.

He took both of her hands in his when she set her mug down. He looked into her eyes for a long minute.

“I love you.” He said warmly. It seemed to work, her smile grew and she stared back at him. 

“Say it again.” She requested. His smile matched hers when he repeated, “I love you.” She smiled, closing her eyes as they started welling up. He held onto her hands as he made his way around the island to her. 

“I love you, Pamela Beesly. And I have been in love with you since the day I met you.” He said happily as she stood up. He pressed his body to hers, his hands falling to the sides of her face. She finally opened her eyes as a single tear fell down her cheek. She stared back at him smiling. 

“I love you too.” She almost whispered. And then he kissed her. He kissed her like the first time they had kissed, just one night prior. And Pam felt the same way she had then. He set her body ablaze, and this time, she didn’t pull away. She fell into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Now, there was no holding back. Jim let his tongue dart out and she parted her lips. He could taste the lingering tea on her tongue and he let out a small sigh, a fire igniting in him. He kissed her passionately, wrapping his arms around her, his large hands spanning across her back. He heard the soft moan in the back of her throat as he pressed his body closer to hers and the small of her back hit the kitchen island. 

And then he pulled back slightly, not wanting to get too carried away in the middle of the kitchen. They were both out of breath. She looked up at him, her eyes gleaming. 

“So this is it?” she asked him, smiling.

“What?” He replied.

“Us?” She said. “We’re doing this?”

He smiled back at her. “Yeah.” He said. “We’re doing this.” He grinned as he kissed her again, grasping her hips and lifting her onto the counter. She smiled into the kiss, wrapping her arms back around his neck. 

\----

Pam was in the shower. She wanted to wash the tears off her face and rinse the day away. Jim had given her another towel, and the same clothes from the night before. He laid down in his bed, smiling to himself. His dream was finally beginning.

Pam stood under the hot water, relaxing into the stream. She soaped up her face, feeling better as she washed her stained cheeks. Not that she wasn’t already on cloud nine; she was free of Roy, and Jim was waiting for her in the next room. Her mind drifted, just for a moment, wishing that he would open the door and join her. Her muscle memory tried to push the thought out of her head, but then she remembered again, she didn’t have to.

Instead of changing back into the clothes Jim had given her from the night before, she wrapped a small towel around herself, picked up her clothes and walked back into Jim’s room. 

His eyes were on her as soon as she rounded the corner. 

He swallowed hard at the sight of her flushed cheeks and damp hair. The towel barely covered her thighs. He looked up at her eyes. “Good shower?” he asked. She stared back at him.

“Mhm.” She replied quietly. “What time does Mark get home?”

“He’s, uh, working a double. So, not until late.” He responded.

Pam nodded, looking at the clothes in her hands, then back at Jim. She didn’t know where the confidence came from, she just knew that the man in front of her loved her, and was in love with her. Of that she was certain. And she knew that she had pushed away how she felt about him for too long. She was letting herself be honest, completely honest for the first time. She loved him with her whole being. And that would never change.

She dropped the clothes, shutting his bedroom door and locking it. She made three long strides to his bed and swung her leg over him, straddling his hips. Before Jim could say anything, Her mouth was on his. She trailed her hands down his chest and his hands traveled up her legs to her hips. She kissed him hard, exploring him. She let out a soft moan when he gripped her hips tighter, feeling his erection through his jeans. 

She lifted herself, kissing her way up his jaw to his ear. “Take them off.” She whispered. 

He did as she said, undoing his belt as she sucked at his neck, his fingers desperately trying to undo the buckle as she did. It was difficult, especially when she added her teeth. He groaned as she kissed her way down, finally kicking off his jeans and underwear. Then she was upright, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He helped her tug it over his head and her mouth was on him again.

He ran his hands up her sides, stopping where her towel was tucked in. “Can I?” He asked. She bit her lip, nodding with half lidded eyes.

He undid the towel and for the first time, she was naked in front of him. And he was naked in front of her. He just gazed at her for a moment before she gently grasped his hands, sliding them up her hips, up the sides of her stomach, and to her breasts. He moaned as her hand squeezed over his and he rolled his hips into her. As she felt the tip of him nudge her clit, she let out a small sigh as she craned her neck back, closing her eyes. She was warm above him, and wet. He wanted to taste her.

In an instant he had rolled them over, nudging her legs apart with his knee. Her hair fanned out across his pillow and he smiled, looking into her eyes before kissing her again. Now it was his turn to tease at her neck, reveling in every squeak and moan she let out as he moved lower. He kissed down her chest, rolling his tongue across one nipple. Her back arched into him and she whimpered as he did. The sounds she made sent warm shocks through his body. He almost growled at the thought of what was to come. He moved to the other nipple, lightly grazing it with his teeth. She let out a breathy “Ah,” 

He wanted to savor every sound, every move, every word. He kissed down her stomach, stopping just before her center. 

She could feel his breath against her and she whimpered involuntarily. “Jim.” She breathed. 

And he couldn’t wait any longer. 

He plunged his tongue into her and a moan ripped from her throat. She tasted more incredible than he could ever imagine. She was perfectly Pam. And she was his. He tasted every inch of her. She sighed and whimpered as he did, her orgasm building. It wasn't until he closed his lips around her clit, that her breathing increased. Her breaths came faster, as her hips lifted off the bed. He held her down as she moaned louder. He didn’t let up his pace as he sucked at her, moving his own hips into the bed, looking for friction. 

“Oh ,God... ” Her words came out breathy in the back of her throat. Her hand went to the back of his head. He didn’t stop, he just sucked harder. “Jim…” her head craned back and he moaned into her.

She came hard, groaning loudly. Her legs trembled around his head as he slowed his movements. He kissed his way back up to her neck as she caught her breath. 

He looked into her eyes again as she swallowed, a light dew of sweat starting at her forehead. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes half closed and panting.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said. 

She smiled up at him, snaking her hand around his neck and pulling him down to her lips. He kissed her gently, lovingly. A warmth spread through her whole body.

She trailed her hands down his abdomen. He moaned when she closed her hand around him, burying his face in her neck. She guided him into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She hummed in pleasure as he filled her completely. He lifted his head, looking at her before kissing her again. 

He started moving. Painfully slow, barely pulling out of her. Just rolling into her, buried deep inside her. She stared into his eyes, a small sigh leaving her lips with every slow, shallow thrust. 

“You feel… amazing.” He breathed. She let out a soft moan, smiling as she closed her eyes. She kissed him before opening them again.

“I love you.” She said. He smiled, leaning down to press his lips to hers.

He started moving faster then, and she moaned at the new rhythm. Jim could feel his orgasm building. Between thrusts he slipped his arms beneath her knees. She groaned as her knees almost met her chest and he pumped into her deeper.

She let out a soft “Yes…” before he started thrusting harder. She grasped her hands at the back of his neck, holding onto him as her second orgasm started building.

He kept his pace, and she moaned louder with each thrust. He buried his face in her neck, his lips at her ear, soft moans escaping his throat.

“Yes…” she whimpered, “I’m--”

“Come for me, Pam.” He breathed in her ear. 

Her orgasm crashed over her and she moaned loudly. Not seconds later, he moaned into her neck, following her. He slowed his pace as they both came down. They stayed there, not moving. The only sound in the room was their heavy breathing. After a minute, Jim looked up at her, still inside her. She stared back with dewy eyes. No words were needed. She simply closed her eyes and kissed him. He parted his lips and kissed her slowly, warmly.

And they were the only two people in the world.

\----

They laid in Jim’s bed lazily, just being with each other. The clock read 9:07pm. There was takeout on the way and smiles plastered on each of their faces. Every now and then, one of them would roll over to steal a kiss. They talked about all they had missed over the past three years. Every look and every glance, the hidden meanings, and restrained touches. Both of them, in a way, feeling incredibly foolish for wasting so much time.

The conversation turned deep, delving into Pam’s own insecurities about leaving the only relationship she had known, talking herself out of thinking that Jim was flirting all these years. And for him, the courage he had worked up when he had told her he was in love with her, what he knew he was risking, but what he would be gaining if she had felt the same way. And he was glad it was the latter.

Their talk cleared the air in a way. They truly understood each other. Even if it felt like they had wasted so much time, they understood why.

The doorbell rang. “You stay in bed,” Jim started, “I’ll run down and get the food.” Pam just looked at him smiling. As he tugged a shirt over his head and put on a pair of gym shorts, he looked back at her, matching her smile.

“What?” She asked, giggling.

“Just…” he started. “You’re just perfect.” He said, walking over and giving her a quick kiss before moving toward the door.

“Be right back.” He said as he walked out of the room. Pam rested her head back down on a pillow, beaming.  
Jim shuffled down the stairs, grabbed his wallet from the kitchen table and opened the door. His entire body went cold.

Roy was standing on his doorstep.


	6. Chapter 6

Neither of them said anything. They just looked at each other. It was like time had stopped.

Finally, Roy spoke. “So that’s how it is then?” He said. Jim swallowed as he tried to think of an acceptable response. Sorry man, she picked me? Sorry not sorry? You should have treated her better? What are you doing here? Please leave?

Roy shook his head looking up at the night sky, sighing. “Yeah, I guess I should have seen that coming.” He said.

Jim just stood there, dumbfounded. Roy wouldn’t actually attack him, would he?

Pam had thrown on clothes, wondering what was taking so long, and froze halfway down the stairs. Roy locked eyes with her.

“Really?” He barked. “Couldn’t even wait twenty four hours before jumping back into bed with him?” He shook his head again, turning to leave. “Real classy Pam. Real classy.” He walked down the steps and got back into his car. As he drove off down the road, being sure to screech the tires as he turned the corner, Jim slowly closed the door. 

He turned around, not wanting to see what he knew would be plastered on her face.

Guilt.

She was standing there, hand on the rail, white as a ghost. Almost green. 

And she had good reason. Roy’s words cut through her like a knife. And she was disgusted with herself. 

She turned, running back up the stairs. Jim heard the bathroom door close behind her. As he went to follow her, the doorbell rang again. Jim’s heart lurched in his chest, turning back around. Thankfully, it was the pizza they ordered. He paid the driver, put the pizza on the table and went upstairs.

The bathroom door was still closed and the faucet was running, a trick he knew from his sister’s teenage years. It meant she was crying.

He walked over to the door and paused. She had closed the door for a reason, to be alone. But he didn’t want her to be alone. He wanted to bust through the door and kiss away all her pain, all her guilt. Convince her that he was the ass, not her. But he was torn.

What would her best friend do?

He quietly knocked on the door. “Can I come in?” he asked. There was no answer. He softly knocked again. “C’mon Beesly, I’m not letting you cry alone in the bathroom.”

After a beat, the door slowly opened. She walked back and sat on the edge of the tub, her nose pink and her cheeks wet. The corner of her mouth turned up slightly as she sat back down.

“I figured you wouldn’t.” She said.

He turned off the faucet, then sat on the floor next to her, leaving a small space between them.

“You know he’s got no right to say that.” He said.

She nodded. “I know.” She said quietly. “It doesn’t make it any less true.” She sniffed and wiped a tear away from her eye. After a moment, she gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “It doesn’t mean I regret this, or don’t want this.”

He smiled slightly, putting his hand on hers. “I know.” 

After a beat, she pulled her hand away as a sob broke through her throat. Then, she couldn’t hold back the tears. Jim looked up at her, pained. He hated seeing her like this. Even now, she was away from Roy. They were over. But he could somehow still hurt her. He grasped her wrist, urging her to the floor with him. 

“Hey…” he said softly. “Hey, come here.” She slid off the side of the tub and melted into his side. He wrapped an arm around her and brought his other hand up to cradle her head. She rested her hands against his chest as she cried. He leaned his cheek against her head as he rubbed his thumb on her arm.

\----

They stayed there for a while. Jim didn’t say anything. He just let her cry. She was grateful. Somehow, someway, he always knew exactly what to do. And sometimes it wasn’t saying anything, sometimes it was just holding her. He knew her almost better than she knew herself.

After a minute, she wiped her eyes, still closed in his embrace.

“I’m hungry.” She murmured shyly.

He placed a kiss on top of her head and stood up. “Don’t move.” He said as he left the bathroom. She smiled slightly as she straightened herself, wiping a hand at her tear stained cheeks.

She heard him patter down the stairs, then back up. When he opened the door, the pizza box was in his hand. She chuckled.

“We’re gonna eat on the bathroom floor?” She asked. He flashed her a smile.

“Why is that not normal?” He joked before returning to his spot next to her. She giggled again.

“No, no.“ She said smiling, “Perfectly normal.” He stared at her, wanting to remember that smile forever.

They sat there, eating pizza quietly. Pam reached for a second slice. “How do you know?” She asked.

“What?” He replied, taking a bite out of his crust. 

“How do you know exactly what to do or say to just… I don’t know, somehow make everything okay.” She said, taking a bite.

Jim sighed, thinking while he chewed. “I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love with your best friend.” He said, looking at her, smiling.

Mark came home around 11pm and they moved their pizza box into Jim’s room to avoid any awkward stares.

They curled up next to each other, completely content, and fell asleep.

\----

Pam slowly opened her eyes around four in the morning. She smiled as she felt Jim’s arms lazily wrapped around her. She turned to face him, just taking him in. His eyes were softly closed and he was breathing gently, sound asleep. She felt so warm, so happy, still in awe that she was there, wrapped up in his bed. She inhaled, he smelled like warm citrus and earth. It was intoxicating. She closed her eyes as she placed a small kiss on his lips, snuggling into him more. 

She felt him wrap his arms around her tighter as his lips moved against hers. She smiled as she moved her hands to his back so she could press her body flush against him. She inhaled as she felt him grow hard against her and she felt a warm pull deep in her belly. 

She raised her leg up over his hip as she moved against him. Having worn only one of his tee shirts to bed, she could feel him through his boxers. He held her tighter as he parted her lips with his tongue and she let out a soft moan. He lazily traveled his hands up her back and into her hair. His mouth was hot and wet, tangling with her own. She rolled her hips against him harder. It was faint, but she heard the low grunt from the back of his throat. 

Pam rolled them over so she was on top of him. She could feel him fully hard beneath her and she grinded her hips into him. His eyes were still closed, his mouth barely open, but his breathing increased. Once she found the friction she was looking for, she captured his lips with hers again. His hands traveled back up her back, holding her close. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip as she continued rotating her hips against him. He let out another throaty moan. 

She couldn’t take it anymore.

She slid his boxers down in one motion, and grasped him in her hand. The quick intake of breath he took caused her to look up at him. He slowly opened his eyes. 

“Pam?” He breathed.

She made sure to have his full attention before she sunk herself down onto him, purring as she did. He gazed into her eyes, letting a quiet moan escape his throat.

“Pam?” he huskily repeated. 

“Shhh.” She whispered quietly before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He inhaled as he wrapped his arms around her.

He uttered a low moan when she rolled her hips, the sensation of her being on top a new experience.

“We don't want to wake up Mark.” She said quietly in his ear. He nodded his head as he held onto her tighter. 

“Please, Pam.” He whispered.

Her orgasm almost hit her at his words. She had never been begged before. It sparked a deeper arousal in her and it burned straight through her soul. She egged him on.

“Do you want me to move?” She breathed.

“Yes...” he panted. “Yes please.”

She rolled her hips again, slowly, twice. He quietly hummed in pleasure and her body was on fire. She raised her head to look into his eyes. He stared back at her, pleading. And that was it.

She started moving her hips slow, reveling in the look in his eyes and the way his quiet breathy moans caressed her face. She stayed at that pace, watching his breathing quicken and his cheeks flush. She could feel her own orgasm steadily building. 

When he started quietly whimpering she asked, “Faster?”

He was silent, his eyes closed, mouth slightly open, he nodded.

She sat up and let out a quiet moan of her own when she sunk onto him deeper. His cloudy eyes slowly opened and locked with hers. He grasped her hips as she rocked against him faster. 

Her climax was building fast now and she whimpered, trying to be quiet. She moved against him harder as she felt herself clenching around him. She grabbed onto his forearms as he helped her.

“Don’t stop…” She whispered harshly. With his help, every move she made allowed him to hit her as deep as he could.

She came around him, moaning lowly. She fell forward, not being able to hold herself up and he groaned into her neck, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He lifted his own hips then and began thrusting hard up into her as she continued to orgasm around him. After a few more thrusts, he released inside of her. Slowing his movements, breathing heavily. 

After a moment, she slid to the side of him, out of breath, and rested her head in his neck and her hand on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her again as their breathing slowed and they drifted back to sleep.

\----

The following morning was a Sunday. They woke up, still tangled with each other. Jim opened his eyes first, smiling down at Pam, sleeping on his chest. Her hair was strewn about his shoulders and her mouth was slightly open as she breathed softly.

He placed a small kiss on her head and she gently woke up. She stretched into him, smiling.

“Morning.” She said through her stretch.

“Morning.” Jim replied brightly.

She lifted her head, resting her elbow on his chest and her chin in her hand. “How’d you sleep?” She asked, a mischievous grin spreading over her face.

He smiled back at her, “Pretty uh…” he looked at the ceiling, “Pretty well.”

She giggled as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

\----

They made their way downstairs. Mark was still sleeping. Pam went to grab the pancake mix from the pantry, but Jim stopped her. “Hey,” He said, grabbing the box from her hand, “You treated me to french toast, I’m doing the pancakes.”

She smiled, conceding. Jim started on the pancakes and she sat down at the kitchen island. She heard the buzz of her phone in her purse on the table. She opened her phone.

There were seven voicemails from Roy.

A pang of anxiety hit her chest. She closed the phone, looking at Jim. He was turned around, measuring ingredients into a mixing bowl.

She wondered if she should just delete them. They were probably a bunch of messages guilting her about what a horrible person she was. Did she really need to listen? What did she owe to Roy? She had made it clear that it was over. She had no obligation to him anymore.

Jim turned around, placing the bowl on the island as he started mixing. 

“Roy called.” She said, still staring at the phone. Jim started mixing slower.

“He left me seven voicemails.” She said.

Jim kept string slowly. “You gonna listen to them?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” She said. “It’s probably just more of what he said last night.”

Jim nodded as he kept stirring. “Probably.” She was silent for a minute.

“I don’t need to hear that.” She said simply. “I don’t need him to make me feel bad about being happy without him.” She sighed. “No matter how short of a time it may have taken.”

Jim was quiet as he continued stirring. He stole a glance at Pam who was still looking at her phone. 

After a few more seconds she opened her phone. He heard a quiet beep, then a tri tone. Then another beep, and another tri tone. He heard it seven times.

“Did you just delete them all?” He asked.

She sighed looking at the phone. “Yup.”

“How do you feel?” He asked. 

She shut the phone, putting it back in her purse. “Good.” She said smiling. “Really good.”


	7. Chapter 7

Pam was back at her apartment, fumbling through her drawers and closet, pulling out clothes. They spent most of their Sunday morning and afternoon watching TV and just being together. After a few punchy innuendos from Mark, he did scoop up Pam in a bear hug, glad his friend had finally got the girl. 

The following week was going to be difficult. She wanted to spend as little time at the apartment as possible. So she grabbed the largest suitcase she owned and filled it with two weeks worth of clothes.

As she went to leave, she noticed the engagement ring missing on the counter. So Roy had been home. A mix of anxiety and sadness hit her briefly before she took a breath and left.

\----

Jim left for work ten minutes before Pam on Monday. They were going to attempt to keep their relationship a secret for now. Although there was no telling what Roy may have already spouted off to the guys in the warehouse.

Which was why her stomach was in knots. 

She shouldn’t care, but she did. That was something deeply ingrained into who Pam Beesly was; she was always going to care about what people thought of her.

She took a few shaky breaths as she pulled into the parking lot. She made her way to the elevator and through the door. She entered quietly, taking off her coat and waiting for someone to say something. When no one did she turned around. Everything seemed business as usual. Everyone either quietly typing, logging in for the day or taking a sip of coffee. Angela was making a copy at the fax machine and Meredith had already started her daily game of Solitaire. No one batted an eye.

Out of habit, her eyes drifted to Jim. He was quietly sitting at his desk. He caught her glance and warmly smiled at her. It sent butterflies through her. 

It was so different now, knowing they were together. And exciting, knowing no one else did.

\----

As usual Michael strolled in just past 9am. After a loud good morning to the rest of the office. He walked over to her desk.

“Morning Pam.” He smiled brightly.

“Good morning Michael.” She replied with a small smile.

This was the point when he usually asked for his messages, but he paused, squinting at her. “Something’s different.” He said.

Pam’s heart dropped to her stomach. 

“Your eyes look different.” He said. She stared at him, trying to think of an appropriate response. “You look well rested.” He continued. 

“We- well I did sleep a lot this weekend.” She stammered, a blush creeping up her cheeks. Michael lightly tapped the desk before walking away. 

“Atta girl.” He replied.

Pam let out the breath she was holding when she heard a ping on her computer. She opened the instant message chat from Jim.

_No you didn’t ;)_

Pam felt the heat in her cheeks rise as she raised her eyes to catch his sly smile. She averted her eyes back to her computer. This week was going to be difficult.

\----

After updating a few spreadsheets, Pam had run out of work to do. Everyone was busying themselves with their work, Monday being the more productive day of the week. Pam usually spaced out her work, not having much of it. She would spend the first few hours diligently updating contacts and deadlines, ordering supplies, or forwarding customer complaints to Kelly.

By lunchtime she was usually bored.

Jim was on a phone call, she watched him idly, smiling to herself. She heard the door open. Roy walked in.

And her heart was in her stomach again.

He quietly walked to her desk. Jim took notice and immediately was on edge. Glancing over as he finished his phone call. 

He wanted more than anything to walk over to her desk. For a second he had the delicious thought that he would walk to reception, head held high, with a bright “Hey, man.” and Roy would slink away, defeated, as Jim had done so many times in the past. But the thought was gone in an instant, it would be far too obvious. He settled for listening in as best he could, just as he always had. He sat there begrudgingly. 

“Hey,” Roy said.

“Hey.” Pam responded shortly. She heard it before she saw it. The tiny clatter of the engagement ring on her desk. She looked at it, then up to Roy. 

“I see you left this at our apartment.” He said. Pam looked back to her computer screen. 

“Mhm.” She said quietly, opening another spreadsheet.

“Did you get my messages?” He asked. Her heart was somehow racing again, but she caught a glimpse of Jim out of the corner of her eye and she gained a slight confidence.

“I got them.” She said. Then she looked at Roy. “Didn’t listen to them.”

“So, what?” He started. “You’re not even gonna talk to me?”

She kept typing. “I said everything I had to say.”

“And what if I have things to say?” He asked.

She looked at him then. “You said plenty Saturday night.” There was a sharp tone in her voice.

He sighed, staring at her as she went back to typing. After a beat, he slipped the ring back into his pocket and slowly walked out the door.

Pam felt her shoulders relax as he left. Why did they have to work in the same building? Why couldn’t Dunder Mifflin have one of those off site warehouses or a warehouse in China? And why did Kelly have to be standing at the copier in that exact moment?

Kelly fluidly slid in front of Pam’s desk. “Ummm, what?” She grilled, looking at Pam.

Pam looked to her, then back to her computer screen. “Hi Kelly,” She said in a defeated tone. She knew she would have to provide an explanation. She knew Kelly wouldn't leave her alone until she did.

“Pam?” Kelly said in a hushed tone that came across louder than she probably meant. “What’s the deal?”

Pam sighed. “It’s not a big deal.” She said, trying to play it off.

“Not a big deal?” Kelly yelped. “The man just walked out of here with your engagement ring.” 

Pam sighed again. “His engagement ring.” She said. “I broke it off.” A small smile creeped across Kelly’s face. 

Pam looked at her quizzically. “What?” She said.

Kelly shook her head. “Nothing.” She leaned on Pam’s desk. “So what happened? Did you do it this weekend? What did he do? Did he flip out?” She pressed.

Pam looked at her, she had already planned out the story in her head. “He didn’t do anything.” She said. “I was out to breakfast with my sister, we were talking about the wedding and it just kinda hit me,” she looked at her desk and then back to Kelly, “I didn’t love him anymore.”

“Aw, Pam, I’m so sorry.” Kelly replied. And she was sincere. “I can kind of see it though.” She added. “Just wasn’t meant to be.” 

Pam gave her a small smile. “I guess not.” 

“Good for you though,” She said. “Realizing he wasn’t what you wanted and not settling. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” Pam replied.

“Well, if you ever want to go out bar hopping and pick up some hot guys, I’m your girl.” 

Pam chuckled. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Kelly happily strode away from her desk, copies in hand. After a minute, Jim walked up to her desk and she felt the heat rise to her cheeks again. It was silly, especially now, that she would be this giddy that he was leaning over her desk to talk to her, but old habits die hard apparently.

“So,” he said, grabbing a jellybean, “bar hoping for hot guys?” He smirked.

She looked up at him, smiling shyly. “Yeah, that’s something I’ve never experienced and I don’t intend to.”

“Really?” he asked. “No little black dress in the back of Beesy’s closet?” Now he was teasing.

She looked up at him from under her lashes. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She said darkly. He coughed as he swallowed the jellybean. She smirked as he walked back to his desk.

\----

By two in the afternoon, the whole office knew that Pam had broken off her engagement with Roy. Everyone was incredibly supportive. The only person that mentioned Jim was Phyllis.

“So do you have your eyes on anyone else right now?” She sweetly asked as they sat in the breakroom, talking over sodas.

“No,” Pam replied. “Not really.”

Phyllis smiled at her. “What about Jim?”

Pam restrained her smile, but couldn’t stop the light pink tint that filled her cheeks. “I don’t know,” she said, looking down at her can of Sprite. “I think I need some time for myself.” 

Phyllis nodded her head, understanding.

Pam had thought about it; taking time for herself. She started dating Roy in high school and didn’t really know who she was outside of him. She thought about maybe figuring that out before going all in with Jim. 

But then the more she thought about it, she realized; she was already herself with him. For the past three years, she was more herself with him than she ever was with Roy. And she could be her one hundred percent goofy, quirky self with him. He was the one that she would turn to when she was tired of being ‘the fiance’. He was the one she would joke with, or talk to when she was unsure about something. And better than that, he loved her for it. 

No, she didn’t need time to find herself, she already knew who she was. She needed time with Jim. Time she wasted pretending to be someone else.

\----

At the end of the day, everyone said their bland goodbye’s, glad the Monday was over. Jim and Pam got in their respective cars and left, both letting out a happy smile once they left the parking lot, knowing they were driving to the same place.

Mark was gone when they got back to Jim’s apartment. They made dinner. Talked about the day. Stole small kisses and gentle touches.

He didn’t want to pry, but he only caught pieces of their hushed conversation earlier, and he was curious. 

“So what did Roy want?” He asked.

“Not sure.” She said, taking a sip of water. “I think he wants to talk. I have no idea about what.” She sighed before she took another bite. “I told him he already said plenty.” Jim smirked, looking at his dish.

“What?” she asked, noting his smile.

“You’re standing up for yourself.” He stated. He looked up at her with bright eyes. “It looks good on you.”

She smiled his favorite smile. “Thanks.” She replied.

\----

They were finishing up the dishes, Jim was stealing small kisses at Pam’s neck as she was putting away their plates. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, pulling her into him. She smiled, closing the cabinet.

“So bar hopping with Kelly doesn’t sound tempting to you?” He teased. She leaned back against him. Closing her eyes, feeling warm in his embrace.

“Not in the least.” She said.

“Because I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a little black dress.” She felt a spark of heat hit her. His lips were at her ear now, and she was dizzy at the feel of his breath against her skin. “Something that hugs your curves…” He put his hands on her hips. “...shows off every beautiful part of you…” He slid his hands up her sides, then back down. She shivered at his touch, his words sending electricity straight down her spine and pooling in her belly.

She smiled, placing her hands over his. “Oh, yeah?” She teased back as she slowly slid his hands back up her sides.

“Mhm…” He hummed in her ear. “I could spend the rest of my life worshiping this body.” She felt her body pulse at his words. She moved his hands to her breasts, reveling in the breathy moan that escaped his throat.

She leaned into him more, feeling him hard against her back. She smiled wider, something about how safe he made her feel brought out a confidence in her. A confidence she was eager to explore.

“Show me.” She said softly.

One hand left hers as his lips moved to her neck. He trailed his hand down her stomach and thigh to the hem of her skirt. As he slipped his thumb underneath, she grasped his hand, turning in his arms.

“Not in the kitchen.” She said as she pressed her lips to his. He smiled into the kiss before she broke away. He hurriedly followed her up the stairs.

\----

Three times. They made love three times that night and they were both falling asleep at their desks come Tuesday morning.

Thankfully everyone in the office was keeping to themselves, it still being early in the week, the productivity was still somewhat high.

Michael brightly came in as usual with warm hello’s. He noted Pam’s tired eyes.

“Ooh, spoke too soon Pamela.” He said as he sauntered up to her desk. 

She blinked at him. “Huh?”

“Burning that midnight oil?” He jested. “No sleeping on the job.” He said, extending a finger her way.”

She could feel herself blush. “Michael, you fall asleep at your desk all the time.” She replied.

“Ah, house rules.” He said. “I’m allowed.”

Pam rolled her eyes slightly as he walked away. “As you were!” He yelped to the rest of the office. He closed the door to his office as he walked in.

She heard her IM ping on her desktop.

_Yeah Beesly, no falling asleep at your desk._

She smirked as she typed back.

_It’s your fault I’m falling asleep, Halpert._

She saw him smile, then smirk as he kept typing.

_Hey, if you need help staying awake, I can help you out._

She gave into the teasing tone.

_Oh yeah? How?_

He glanced up at her from his desk. She caught his gaze as he gave her a small wink. He stood up, walking into the kitchen.

Her heart started racing as an image of Jim pressing her up against the fridge flashed through her mind. His hand wandering up her thigh underneath her skirt. She imagined him first shuttering the blinds on the windows and locking the doors before he would pin her to the cold metal, a hand over her mouth as he urged her to be quiet. His lips at her neck as his hand reached the hem of her panties.

She was broken out of the day dream when he came out of the kitchen with a cup of freshly made earl grey.

She smiled, looking down to avoid any watchful eyes. He casually brought it over to her, noting the pink tint in her cheeks as he set it down.

“”You alright there?” He asked, smirking again.

She cleared her throat before she answered him in a quiet whisper. “Doesn’t this look a little suspect, you bringing me tea?” 

He lowered his voice to her level. “What? To the unknowing onlooker, I am a humble man trying to win the favor of the newly single receptionist.” She smiled up at him.

“Well, thank you for the tea, sir.” He smiled back at her.

“You, are welcome.” He flashed her another wink, loving the rosy hue that filled her cheeks when he did, before walking back to his desk


	8. Chapter 8

The teasing was the worst. And Jim thoroughly enjoyed teasing Pam all day. Now instead of hushed exchanges and stolen glances, they would share knowing looks and taunting winks. It wasn’t one sided though. Pam learned very quickly that a bite of her lip would send a flush straight to Jim’s cheeks. And she loved slyly leaning forward when he would saunter over to her desk and watch his eyes trail down the opening of her blouse.

It was all fun and games. Until Friday. 

On Friday Pam stayed at the office around fifteen minutes late, she had to triple check a report Michael had procrastinated on before faxing it to corporate. Once she was finished, she threw on her coat and locked up the office.

When she opened the door to the parking lot, Roy was standing at her car.

She froze.

She debated turning around and going back inside, maybe waiting him out. But she somehow managed the courage to put one foot in front of the other.

“Hey.” He said once she was in ear shot. She tried to read the expression on his face. He didn’t seem angry, he also didn’t seem calm either. He looked almost, anxious.

“Hey.” She replied looking at him briefly, then to her car behind him. He put both of his hands up.

“I’m not here to argue.” He said, “I just have some things I gotta say.”

She sighed, looking back at him. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” He started. “I’m sorry for what I said on Saturday. And I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you.” He looked at his hands then. “I miss you, Pam.” 

For a moment she felt a pang of empathy for him. 

“We’ve been together for so long, I’ve never come home and not talked to you about our day, or not had dinner together, or fallen asleep watching TV.” He looked at her again, his eyes held a sadness she hadn’t seen before.

“You were the best part of me, Pam. And I miss you. I miss you so much.” He reached for her hands. His hands were familiar, but rough, and cold. 

She stared at their hands for a moment. Then back up at Roy. He was staring at her intensely, like when they first started dating. When he held such admiration for her in his eyes. She could see the love there. And she realized, it was the first time she had seen that look in a long time. Since, before their engagement.

She thought back to the night he proposed, over three years ago. He didn’t even have that look in his eyes then. When had it disappeared? When did this affection he felt for her sizzle out? This affection that was only resurfacing now, because she had left him.

She looked back at their hands, slowly pulling away from him.

“I noticed, you didn’t tell anyone about me and Jim.” She said, slowly raising her eyes to him again.

He smiled sadly, “We’ve both made mistakes in our relationship. And it’s none of their business.”

She sighed again. He was still considering this a relationship. He was still open to the possibility of ‘getting past this’. 

“Neither of us are perfect, Pam. And if you had listened to my messages, you would have heard the apologies I made for my flaws.” He took her hands again. “I’ve messed up, Pam. I didn’t see you, and I’m sorry. But I see you now--”

He placed his hands on either side of her face and it was like someone had thrown ice water down her back. She shook her head taking a quick step back from him.

“No! Roy.” She looked at him, her eyes harsh. “...No.” He met her with sad eyes again. She had to make it clear. Clear to him that there was no possibility of them ‘working this out’ or ‘getting past this’. She wanted to close this chapter in her life. She looked down at her toes, taking in a determined breath.

Truth time.

“Roy, I’ve been in love with Jim since his first day at the office.” She raised her eyes to him. “I feel like I’ve been pretending to love you when in reality…” she took a pause as she saw her words cut him, just as his did to her last week. “...It’s Jim.” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She took another breath. “I’m in love with him.“ She stated. “It’s _not_ just a fling, and it certainly was _not_ a mistake.” His eyes slowly fell to the ground.

“And I’m not sorry.” She continued, surprised by the confidence in her own voice. “I’m not sorry for loving a man that loves me the way I should be loved.” She tried to gauge his reaction, but couldn’t see his face. “I’m only sorry that I wasn’t honest with you sooner.”

He stared at the ground for a minute. 

Her heart started racing. Quiet was usually followed by anger. As he raised his head, she could see it. He curtly nodded his head while taking in a sharp breath, not making eye contact with her. 

She quickly stepped around him to open her car door before he could get in another word. As she was unlocking the door she jumped. He slammed his fist into her passenger door. There was a sizable dent.

She looked at him, eyes wide. 

He scoffed. “Fine.” He curtly nodded again, forcing a fake smile, before walking away.

Pam started the car and rushed out of the parking lot.

\----

She pulled over a block before Jim’s apartment. Her heart was still racing and tears were sneaking out of the corner of her eyes. She needed a minute. She knew as soon as she set foot in the door Jim would know. He would know something happened because he’s Jim. And she knew herself well enough that she would break down the second she heard his soft what’s wrong?

So she did it there, in her car. She cried. She sobbed. She let everything out. The sadness, the grief, the guilt, the courage, the anxiety, the adrenaline. There were too many emotions running through her, she couldn’t stop the tears.

She needed this moment for herself. This was her band-aid. She had ripped it off. She was finally honest with Roy for the first time in what felt like forever. 

And he reacted the way he always did. It solidified her decision. Not that she wasn’t already sure before. Roy’s reaction was just another item to add to the laundry list of why she didn’t love him. Why he didn’t deserve her. And why she was so proud. So proud that she left.

Her tears and sobs slowly turned into giggles and then laughter. She felt a happiness she couldn’t explain. She rested her head back, closing her eyes and breathing deeply between chuckles. She took a few more breaths as she calmed down. She pulled her visor down, checking her reflection in the mirror. Her nose was still slightly pink, but her eyes weren’t puffy and her cheeks were dry.

She smiled, closed the visor and drove the last block.

\----

When she arrived at Jim’s apartment she raced up the steps noting Mark’s car was gone. She felt like she was on top of the world.

She hurriedly knocked on the door. Jim answered after a beat. “Hey, what took so lo--”

She cut him off by throwing herself into his arms and crashing her lips to his.

He stumbled back, letting out a chuckle as he shut the door with his foot. “Well hello to you too--” She cut him off again by plunging her tongue into his mouth and backing him up to the wall. She pressed her body to his and he wrapped his arms around her. She left his lips placing small kisses down his jaw, then neck. She smiled as she heard a soft moan escape his throat. He grasped her hips as she unzipped her coat and threw it to the floor. She kissed her way back up his neck to his ear.

“Take me to bed.” she whispered.

\----

Jim had left the office at 5. He went home, grabbed a beer, checked the scores of a few games, changed out of his work clothes and into some jeans and a tee shirt, and opened the fridge to figure out what to do for dinner when Pam knocked on the door.

He was taken aback by her fervor, but thoroughly welcomed it. He noticed the confidence she had been gaining since the Casino Night, and he wasn’t lying; it did look good on her. As if he wasn’t already attracted to her before, when she would take charge, it was a whole different side of Pam, and he was at her will.

That’s why when she whispered a breathy “Take me to bed.” In his ear, his eyes glazed over as he slid his hands to the backs of her thighs, and hoisted her to his hips. He carried her up the stairs, trying not to fall as she nibbled and breathed heavily at his neck. 

He sat on the bed, kissing her as she straddled his lap. He pushed off her cardigan and slid his hand under her shirt, loving the way she purred against him as he dragged his hands across her skin, landing on her breasts. She broke the kiss to lift her shirt over her head, then reached for his. Once his shirt was off she gently pushed him back, feeling his erection pulse beneath her at the slight force she used. 

She leaned over him, kissing her way down his chest. She smiled at the sighs he let out with each flick of her tongue. In an instant he had rolled them over and slid down the zipper on her skirt before pulling it, along with her tights, off of her in one swift motion. Jim looked at her hungrily; her flushed cheeks and chest rising and falling. He almost growled when she stared at him and uttered,

“Touch me.”

He grinned before slowly kneeling between her legs. “Where?” he asked, teasing. She bit her lip, and watched his eyes get cloudier. He placed his hands on her hips. “Here?” He asked. She shook her head. He slid a hand to her breast, slowly pulling down the cup of her bra. She inhaled sharply as his mouth closed around her nipple, his tongue flicking at her. He stopped, looking up at her. “Here?” He asked, his voice raspy. She whimpered as he resumed licking her. 

After a moment she breathed, “No.”

He raised his head to her, capturing her lips as the hand at her breast slid between her legs. “Here?” He rubbed slow circles over her underwear. 

Her pitch increased as she nodded and whimpered a soft, “Mhm.” He smiled as he kissed her again, lightly biting at her bottom lip. He kept rubbing gentle circles. Just enough pressure to keep her on edge, and not enough to send her over.

Her hips started moving against him, looking to increase the friction. Small sighs escaped her throat, whining at the lack of pressure. Her orgasam was slowly starting to build, but it was too slow. 

She broke from his kiss begging a soft, “Touch me, Jim...please.” against his lips.

He moaned at her words, shifting his weight to the side of her, pressing his erection against her hip and stretching his arm for a better angle. He slid his hand beneath the waistband of her underwear and moaned again, feeling her arousal soak his fingers.

She let out a low moan as he slowly slid his middle finger inside of her. He moved slow, wanting to draw it out. She breathed quiet sighs as he slid his other hand underneath her, pressing warm kisses to her throat. He added another finger as she moaned again. He moved his lips to her ear. “Is this good?” He asked. She nodded, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. “Tell me what you want, Pam.” She took a few breaths as his finger pumped excruciatingly slow inside her. 

“Faster.” She breathed.

He obliged and reveled in the louder moans escaping her throat with each move. He lifted his head to look at her and his own orgasm almost hit when she moaned again,

“Harder.”

Something about Pam telling him exactly what to do turned him on like nothing else in his life ever had. She was writhing beneath him, breathing heavy, face flushed and eyes closed as he pumped harder. Her loud moans became even louder “Ah’s” as his knuckles would hit her center.

Worried he was too rough, he lightened the pace. Pam immediately grasped his forearm and when the “No, don’t stop...please.” Left her lips as a lustful whine, he saw white. He started driving into her hard, staring at her face, watching for the moment she would break and her orgasm would crash around her. Her hand went to the back of his neck when his thumb lightly pressed back and forth into her clit as his fingers worked feverishly inside of her. She pressed their foreheads together, muttering quiet “yes’s” under her breath, between her throaty moans. 

When her moans stopped, he knew her orgasm had hit. She craned her head back, mouth agape and he could feel her pulsing around his fingers. He slowed his pace, kissing down her neck as she came down. He stopped moving altogether and let her hips move the way she needed. 

He removed his hand from her legs and slowly slid his fingers into his mouth, moaning at the taste of her. He looked down at her, her half lidded eyes staring back at him. He placed a deep kiss to her lips. She darted her tongue out to taste herself on him and he moaned. When he broke the kiss, he stared into her eyes. 

“One more?” He asked. She nodded grinning.

He stood up, his own erection pressing against his jeans. He grabbed her by the hips, pulling her to the edge of the bed, and pulling her underwear down her legs. It always sent a jolt of excited electricity through her when he would make a rough move like that, knowing there was softness behind it.

He knelt between her legs, his hands on either of her thighs, pushing them back toward her chest. His mouth watered at the display, and loved the way she groaned when he slid his tongue slowly up her center, being sure to leave an opened mouth kiss around her clit, to which she bucked her hips, just slightly. He drove his tongue in deeper, earning him a deeper moan from Pam, as he started moving his tongue inside of her. He placed another kiss on her before lifting his head.

“God, you taste so good.” He breathed. She didn’t know why the dirty talk turned her on so much, it never did before. But everything was different with Jim. He lapped at her and flicked his tongue and teased her until she was right back to the edge. Her moans loud, and her hand tangled in his hair, he sucked at her clit, hard. He alternated between flicking his tongue and sucking until her hips started moving off the bed. He moved his hands from her thighs to her hips to hold her in place while he sucked at her. Not having anywhere to move, Pam felt her second orgasm build, and build, and then break. She let out a high pitched moan that lasted the length that her orgasm did, Jim moaned into her, as he felt her climax, she was dripping onto the bed now.

He stood up, wiping his mouth with his knuckle, a dark smile breaking out on his face. Pam was in pieces, in the best way possible. She looked at him with glazed eyes, one more breathy “Please,” escaping her lips.

She watched him as he undid his jeans, another action that excited her now more than she could remember it ever did before. Her core pulsing as he slid them down with his underwear and he stood fully erect in front of her. He kneeled on the bed, gently seating himself between her legs. He leaned down, hovering above her, he placed a gentle kiss to her lips as she wrapped her hand around him. He inhaled sharply, then let out a deep moan as she stroked the length of him fully. She sighed as he slowly buried himself in her to the hilt. He kissed her neck as he moved slowly. She was wet and hot and swollen around him. With every move, small moans would leave her lips. She was so sensitive that every time he would fill her fully, and just brush against her clit, it would send another pulse through her; another orgasm quickly building. That and his breathy moans in her ear had her nearing the edge even faster.

When she started meeting his thrusts with her hips, her moans getting louder, he could feel his climax building. He started thrusting harder. He felt Pam pulse around him, he knew she was close again. He moaned in her ear, trying to hold off his own orgasm just long enough.

“One more baby,” he breathed. “Come for me one more time.” Her short loud cries fell from her lips with each thrust, so close to breaking. “God, you feel so good Pam.” He whispered, thrusting harder. “Come for me.” She bit her lip, digging her nails into his back. “I want to feel you come around my cock.” And he felt it. One final orgasm. She broke around him, and he came with her feeling her walls pulse around him and coax his own orgasm. He moaned loudly in her neck, slowing his pace as she rode out her climax. She was moaning with her mouth closed, her legs shaking around him, her hands digging into his back.

He held her tightly as he stopped moving, breathing heavy into her neck, her hips bucking every now and then as she came down. He felt a wetness at his cheek. He lifted his head, a pang of fear hitting him as he looked into her watery eyes. But she was smiling.

“Wh--What’s wrong?” He stammered. “Was that too much?” He went to move off of her, but her arms latched around his back, pulling him closer. She was as out of breath as he was. He moved his hands to her face, panic, filling his tone. “Pam, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

She stopped him by kissing him deeply. Some of the panic melted away at her kiss. She pulled away, looking into his eyes. “Don’t ever apologize for that.” She whispered.

He looked at her, still concerned. “Are you okay?” He asked again.

She smiled back at him lazily. “Mhm.” She nodded as she placed another kiss to his lips.

“Why are you crying?” He asked softly with sad eyes.

She giggled before she responded. “I think they call it euphoria?” 

A slow smile grew on his face as he kissed her deeply. 

\----

By the time they cleaned up (which consisted of a very long shower with soapy hands and sloppy kisses) it was near seven thirty. Mark was home and watching TV in the living room. They were making dinner, which had become a favorite past time of sorts for them both. They had decided on tacos.

Pam was emptying a packet of taco seasoning into the ground beef that was browning in a skillet as Jim was chopping up an onion. She heard him sniff and looked over at his dewy eyes. 

“No crying in the kitchen, Halpert.” She chuckled.

He smiled as he kept chopping. “It’s my kitchen and I’ll cry If I want to.”

She smiled to herself as she stirred the meat in the skillet. They continued cooking in silence for a minute.

“So, I talked to Roy today.” She started.

“Oh?” He said.

“Mhm,” she kept stirring. “Part of why I was a little later than I expected.”

“What happened?” He asked, trying to focus on the onions and not the aggravation he felt at Roy for continuing to try to talk to her.

“I think he was trying to play to a bleeding heart.” She looked at Jim then. “Which I clearly don't have.” He smirked at her comment. “He gave me some big speech about how much he misses me and how I was the best part of him or something.” She sighed, turning off the stove top.

“What did you say to that?” Jim asked as he finished with the onion. 

She waited for him to turn around and look at her. “I told him the truth.” She said. “That I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.” His eyes flashed a warmth at her words, the corners of his mouth upturning slightly. “And that I’m not apologizing for loving someone that loves me the way I deserved to be loved.” 

He smiled, looking at the floor. He looked in her eyes again, walking over to her and scooping her up in his arms.

“Say it again.” He asked, mirroring her words from the previous week. She smiled.

“I’m in love with you.” She said again. He kissed her, smiling through the kiss. When they broke apart, she placed her hands on either side of his face, staring into his eyes. “I’m in love with you, Jim Halpert.”

He stared back at her, the smile on his face feeling permanent. “I’ll never get tired of hearing that.”

\----

They fell into bed that night, fully content, snuggled up next to each other. In the morning they got ready for work, still leaving ten minutes apart, to avoid suspicion. Jim left first as usual, then Pam.

A few minutes after she settled herself at the reception desk, he walked up to the counter.

“Hey.” She said brightly.

“Hey,” he said. “What happened to your door.”

Her face dropped. “Oh, that.” She looked at the desk, then back up at him. “After my maybe too honest confession…” she paused, not wanting to tell him. “Roy punched my car.”

“He what?” 

“It’s not a big deal.”

Jim looked around ensuring no one was listening in. “Not a big deal?” He leaned closer. “He punched your car, Pam.”

“After I told him I had pretended to love him for the past three years.”

His eyes widened slightly. “Woah,” he replied. “You actually said that?”

“Yeah.” She said, matter-of-factly. “Not that I’m defending him, but I can see why he might have been upset.”

Jim looked down at the desk, still uneasy, then back to Pam. “Yeah, I guess so.”

She sighed. “I think he finally took the hint though.” She met his gaze. “I don’t think he’ll be trying to talk to me again.”

Jim tapped on the desk lightly. “That’s good.” He said, a small half smile on his lips before he walked back to his desk.

She knew Jim would worry. But she also knew he respected her enough to let her fight her own battles. She smiled to herself as she opened her email. There was one from Daryl.

They were looking for a new warehouse worker.


	9. Chapter 9

Normally Michael would be in charge of job listings, but Daryl quickly learned that it would take an extra month to get done if he sent them to him. So, Daryl would send them to Pam.

She stared at her screen.

What had happened?

Was Roy gone? Did he leave or was he fired? Where would he go? All his family lived in Scranton so it’s not like he would just up and leave. And why was she so concerned? 

She looked around the office, things seemed quiet. She set the phone to voice mail and quietly stepped out of the room. She made her way down to the warehouse, pausing as she opened the door. 

Everything looked like business as usual. Nothing seemed out of place. She quietly walked to Daryl’s office. He was typing at his computer when she opened the door.

“Hey Daryl,” She started.

“Hey Pam,” he replied as he finished typing.

“I got your email,” She said. “We need a new warehouse worker?” 

He looked at her. “Roy didn’t tell you?” She stammered for a moment before he continued, “Of course he wouldn’t. Since you… you know.”

“He wasn’t fired, was he?” She asked, a flash of panic hitting her. 

“No,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “He came in here last night as I was closing up and said he was done.”

“Really?” She asked.

“Mhm.” 

“Did he…” Her voice trailed off.

“Say it was because of you?” He finished. He smirked as he leaned forward. “Not in so many words.”

Pam stared at the ground for a moment, a feeling of guilt hitting her. She wasn’t sure why. Daryl noted the look on her face.

“He did say that he had a few better opportunities he wanted to explore.” She looked at him.

“He did?” 

He nodded. After a beat he added “...and that now there was nothing holding him back.” Pam looked to the ground again. She wasn’t sure how she felt. Part of her was glad he was gone, but knowing she was the reason ate at her. 

“He’s messed up, Pam. He’s sad.” He stood taking a step toward her and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “But he’ll bounce back.”

She gave him a small smile before she left his office.

\----

She walked back into the office feeling odd. Roy was gone. He was gone. She didn’t know how she felt. This is what she wanted, right? To close the chapter. To make it clear this was the end. And it was, so why did it feel so strange. 

She sat at her desk and thumbed a paperclip in her hand as she stared at his name on the employee contact list, almost whispering a silent goodbye to it in her head. Goodbye to the birthdays and Christmases, goodbye to eleven years of memories, goodbye to the man she fell in love with in high school. And goodbye to the fighting. Goodbye to broken dishes and holes in walls (and the new dent in her car). Goodbye to feeling like she’s never good enough. It provided some comfort. 

It wasn’t until she felt him at her desk that she broke from her trance.

“Daydreaming again, Beesly?” Jim smiled.

In an instant the strange feeling was gone, replaced by a warmth that only her best friend could create. She looked up at him, smiling. 

“Guilty.” She said warmly.

“So look at this,” She said, motioning to the monitor. “We’re hiring in the warehouse.” Jim looked at her, a second of confusion on his face before he realized.

“Roy’s gone.” She said.

His face was a mix of happiness and confusion. “What happened?” He asked.

Pam shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t know.” She said. “He told Daryl yesterday that he was done.” Jim stared at her for a moment. 

“Are you okay?” He asked her.

She looked at her keyboard. “I mean,” she shrugged again. “He obviously left because of what I said.” She raised her eyes to Jim. “But that was kind of the point, right?”

He nodded as he grabbed a jelly bean out of the jar.

“So,” she continued. “Chapter closed.” 

He paused, smiling at her as he chewed. “Chapter closed.” He agreed.

\----

That night they sat in the living room eating takeout with Mark before his date.

“Dude why are you eating before a date?” Jim asked as he picked up another crab rangoon.

Mark looked at him dumbfounded. “Because you got takeout from Great Wall.” He said. “And I’d much rather fill up on this than _salmon fromage frais_ and _carrot consommé_.” He mocked the french words as he stuffed a teriyaki chicken into his mouth.

“Follow up question,” Jim teased, “Why do you always go out with girls that make you take them to the most expensive restaurants?”

Mark chuckled. “Lobster dinner baby.” Jim scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Pam looked at the both of them, confused. “What’s a lobster dinner have to do with anything?” 

Jim shook his head, “It’s… uhhh… nothing.” He said. “It means nothing.”

She elbowed him. “Tell me!” she said.

“It’s a guy thing.” Mark said. “It’s a gross guy thing.” Jim added. Pam rolled her eyes at the both of them, clicking her tongue.

“Come on, tell me. I can take it.” She said, a small pout forming on her lips. Jim sighed.

“It-- it’s a thing that guys joke about.” Jim started, “The more expensive dinner you buy a girl--”

“The more likely she is to put out.” Mark finished. Pam’s jaw opened in shock. She threw a pillow at Mark.

“That’s disgusting.” she said, chuckling.

“I know.” They said in unison; Jim’s tone a sad one, conflicting with Mark’s laughter.

After a minute, Pam was twirling her fork in her low mein noodles. “So how much do you plan on spending tonight then, Casanova?”

Mark smiled up at her from his plate. “Oh, A _lot_.” 

“I hope you guys are going to her place then.” She said quietly. Mark laughed in return.

\----

They were cleaning up dinner when Jim brought Roy up. Just one last time, he figured. One last time, just to make sure she’s really okay. One last time, and then he would never have to think about him again.

“So, he didn’t say anything to you?” He asked. “He just left?”

She paused, it taking a moment to grasp who he was talking about. “Yup.” She said, “After he left that beauty mark on my car he just walked away.” She finished putting her left overs in a Tupperware before putting them in the fridge.  
“I still can’t believe he punched your car.” Jim said chuckling, though there was a slight edge to his voice. “Who does that?”

Pam sighed. “It’s not the worst he’s ever done.” She said. “He once broke one of my favorite lamps after an argument ‘by accident’.” She said with quotations.

Jim shook his head as he finished washing his hands. Pam stepped behind him then, wrapping her small arms around his frame and leaned her head against his back.

“But,” she started. “Chapter closed, remember?” He smiled as he shut off the water, drying his hands. “Hell, maybe the whole damn book.” She continued. “I think it’s time to start writing a new one.” She said, smiling into him. He turned in her arms, his hands falling on either side of her face. He placed a loving kiss on her lips. 

\----

Pam was putting on pajamas after her shower and Jim was laying on his bed, eagerly waiting for her.

“Also, I would just like to say that I’ve never done that.” He said.

She chuckled, “Hey, professor random, give me some context.” She said as she brushed out her tangled hair.

“The lobster dinner thing.” He clarified. 

She smiled at him as she set her brush down. “I figured as much.” She said, giving him a peck on the lips before crawling into bed next to him. “That’s definitely more of a Mark thing.” 

Jim smiled before he turned off the light and they slid under the covers. 

She thought about what Mark had said. He was fairly crass, much more so than Jim. And she was sort of used to it by now. 

Jim was far from crass, he was a perfect gentleman. She rarely, if ever, heard a swear fall from his mouth, or a harsh word from his lips, or forceful hand on her body. But she thought about the previous night. The ‘Night of Three Times’ as Jim lovingly called it. His words echoed in her mind. 

_“I want to feel you come around my cock.”_ Just thinking about his words sent a heat pooling between her legs. That word. She wasn’t a stranger to it, but like everything else, when the word was on Jim’s lips, it was a different animal. That one request. That was what had made her climax harder than she could ever remember. 

She inhaled, breathing him in as she lay wrapped up in his arms. She could hear his slow heartbeat and his steady breathing. She was hungry to chase it. To see what else he could make her do.

She decided against waking him, he was soundly sleeping and he did have a lunch meeting with an important client tomorrow. 

Instead she rolled over and snuggled her backside into him. His arms instinctively wrapped around her tighter. And she let visions of Jim, all over her body, lull her to sleep.

\----

Pam was sitting on the couch. Mark didn't seem to be home and the TV was off. She looked around to see the entire apartment dark and quiet. But not quiet like no one was home, no. It was dead quiet. No cars driving down the street, no clock ticking, no sound, nothing. Was this a dream?

She went to stand, but a dark voice echoed from the corner chair.

“Sit down.”

The voice was dark, but smooth and warm. Like velvet. And she knew it was Jim. She slowly sat back down on the couch.

He stood from the chair in the corner, moving out of the shadow so she could see him. He was dressed in a plain black button down shirt and black slacks. She wasn’t sure if he even owned a black button down. She looked down at herself and she was bare. Not even a bra. She instinctively went to cover herself.

“Don’t.” He barked.

She felt a pulse in her belly at his harsh tone. He slowly walked over to her and sat next to her on the couch. He looked into her eyes, there was a dark hue she had never seen before, but excited her. 

“Stand up.” He demanded. And she felt herself shudder. As she stood he grasped her hips to move her in front of him with her back turned. She looked over her shoulder. He was sitting behind her with a hunger in his eyes. She felt her arousal pool between her legs.

He sat forward on the couch as his foot nudged her ankles apart. She let out a throaty moan as his warm hand covered her core. One singular finger dipped in, circling her clit. Her breathing became faster.

“That’s right.” He said, a raspiness to his voice. “Get nice and wet for me like a good girl.” She moaned at his words as she soaked his fingers. She could feel her orgasm already building.

“God, you get so wet for me.” She rocked her hips trying to get more friction, and whimpered when he pulled his hand away. 

She looked over her shoulder again. 

“Eye’s front.” He growled. Something about his tone just turned her on more. When he grasped her hair and snapped her head back she yelped, but just felt more heat rising in her belly. “Are you going to listen?” He asked darkly. 

“Yes.” She breathed.

He released her hair. “Good.” 

Why was this so much of a turn on? If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up.

She kept her eyes forward, but heard the clatter of him undoing his belt. She felt an excited electricity fill her body as she felt his hands firmly grasp her hips.

And then heard her alarm going off.

Pam opened her eyes. The clock read 6:45am. Time to get up. 

Jim stretched next to her. She looked over at him, a hot red blush creeping into her cheeks. 

“Morning.” He said sleepily. He went in to kiss Pam on the forehead, but pulled back. “What’s up?” He said, his tired eyes showing a hint of confusion. 

“What?” She said.

“You’re all sweaty and your face is red.” She pressed a hand to her forehead feeling the dewiness there. “You okay?”

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, fine.” She said. 

“Bad dream?” He asked. She could feel her face get hotter. She tried her best to look confused.

“Umm,” She started, “I don’t remember.” She concluded as she jumped out of bed to get ready for the day.

“Okay.” He replied, following her with quizzical eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Something was off. The way she scurried around the apartment getting ready for work and only made eye contact when necessary were clues enough. But what was strange was when he would brush a hand at her back, or place a quick kiss at her cheek, which he had become accustomed to doing, she would blush. And not a sweet, light pink dusting that he had also become accustomed to seeing and frankly admired, but a deep red. It filled her cheeks and would crawl down her neck. And she would avert her eyes. It certainly wasn’t the norm.

He asked her one more time before he left for work. “You’re sure you're okay?”

“Yes.” She said smiling, “I’m fine.” Her face was still flushed. “I’ll see you at work.” She said, urging him out the door.

Once the door was closed, she knew she didn’t have long. She usually left ten minutes after Jim and she had already gotten her coffee ready. Mark was gone. Jim was gone. And she ran up the stairs to his bedroom. 

The only way she would make it through the day without this god forsaken blush creeping up her cheeks anytime Jim said boo, was to take care of it herself. She didn’t want to tell him quite yet what had gotten her so riled up, so she reverted to a trick she hadn’t used since she first realized she had feelings for him.

She closed the door, locking it, and sat on his bed, closing her eyes. She thought back to her dream; a rough hand at her hips, his foot kicking her leg out, a delicious finger teasing her as her arousal dripped from her core. She laid down, sliding a hand between her legs. She rubbed circles over her tights as she finished the dream in her mind.

She heard the clatter of him undoing his belt. She felt an excited electricity fill her body as she felt his hands firmly grasp her hips.

“Sit.” He demanded.

She hummed in pleasure as she lowered herself onto him, letting him fill her fully. She rocked her hips into him. A hand went to her hair again and forcefully pulled her back. She moaned as her back his chest.

“Do. Not. Move. Until I say.” His voice rumbled in her ear and her core pulsed around him in response. He moved his legs underneath her so that her knees were hooked over his. He spread his legs, which in turn spread hers. 

Breathy moans escaped her throat as he slowly pumped into her. He released the hand in her hair, wrapping it around her throat as he thrust harder, his quiet grunts in her ear. Her body was on fire at his touch, a fire she had never felt before. This was new, unexplored, and so incredibly hot. 

Her orgasm was building like a hot coil inside of her, and with each thrust, each moan in her ear, she got closer.

“You gonna come for me baby?” He whispered. She silently nodded, her climax building fast. He grabbed her breast, squeezing hard. “I asked you a question.” He snarled. And he slammed up into her roughly.

Her eyes snapped open, a sharp moan falling from her lips, “Yes.” She breathed.

“What?” He pounded into her again.

“Yes!” It came out as a breathy moan.

“I can't hear you.” He thrusted into her hard, her loud moans laced with “Yes’s” that turned guttural as the hand at her breast moved to her clit. He tapped her there, then rubbed, then tapped. The sensation set her into a whirlwind. He kept rubbing circles around her as he thrusted into her faster, harder, and she saw white.

“That’s my good girl.” He said in her ear. “Come all over my cock.” She felt her orgasm break over her, he didn’t stop pounding into her. 

Her small moans filled Jim’s room as she brought herself to release. She was out of breath, a slight dew returning to her forehead. She opened her eyes, laying there for a moment.

What. Was. That?

She had fantasized about Jim before, sure. Fantasized about their first date, their first kiss, holding hands while walking into work, and on a rare occasion, making love. She didn’t need to fantasize anymore. So why? Why, how, and where did this fantasy come from?

Roy had liked to be rough sometimes, and it was sort of fun, but definitely more for him than her. But Jim being rough? Again, a whole different animal. 

Maybe it was the confidence she felt being with him? Maybe it was the security in their relationship that was already there, knowing she was safe with him? She was safe, even if he wanted to wrap a hand around her throat and…

She had to get to work. She looked at the clock; she should only be around five minutes late.

\----

After fixing her hair one last time before walking out the door, she sped to work. As casually as she could, she walked behind the reception desk after hanging her coat and sat down. 

Jim looked over at her. He was on hold with a client. He tried to decipher her expression. She seemed fine, the slight blush she had held all morning was gone. He finished his phone call and walked up to her desk. When she noticed his presence, he noticed the blush was back. Not deep red anymore, but a light pink.

“You sure you’re feeling okay?” He asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

He eyed her, still unsure. “Okay,” he replied. “Can you do me a favor and fax these to Gallagher Law?”

She smiled at him, taking the papers from his hand. “Sure.” She quickly turned to the fax machine as she pictured the hand holding the papers wrapped around her wrist and roughly pulling her to his chest. She tried focusing on the fax number before an image of his other hand wrapping around her neck and pulling her in for a rough kiss flooded her mind.

Jim stayed there for a moment, staring at her with her back turned. Something was up. He sighed quietly, walking back to his desk. She would tell him in time, hopefully.

\----

Jim kept eyeing Pam all morning, trying to figure out what she wasn’t telling him. He packed up for his lunch meeting and stopped by her desk one more time. 

“I’m heading out,” he started. “Should be back by two at the latest.” She looked up at him, that light pink hue still dusting her cheeks.

“Okay.” She said brightly.

“If Gallagher calls, can you send it to Stanley instead of my voicemail? They’ll be placing an order.”

She smiled at him. “Sure thing.” 

He stared at her for a moment more.

“Jim, I’m okay.” She said. “Really.” Then she realized and added quietly to ensure no one would hear, “We’re okay too.” She saw the faint look of relief on his face before he gave her a small smile and turned to walk out the door.

She hadn’t thought of it until now. That her awkward silence and averted glances might be interpreted as something was wrong with them. She felt a slight moment of guilt. She never wanted Jim to feel like she was unsure about them. The only thing she was unsure about was the positions her mind was putting them in.

She sighed. She needed to talk about it. She needed him to understand that it wasn’t that they weren’t okay. It was that they were so much okay that she had apparently some questionable desires that may be surfacing.

And she was never really good at talking about intimacy. She was far more a fan of doing the act, rather than talking about it. She thought about what she would say, a heat rising to her cheeks no matter how she tried to phrase it. She let her head fall to her hands, a small groan in the back of her throat. This was going to be difficult.

\----

Jim hadn’t realized the tension he was holding in his shoulders until it was finally released at her _“We’re okay too.”_

He knew they were okay. He knew they would talk about whatever it was that was bothering her. But somehow, hearing the words of reassurance felt good.

He went to his lunch meeting, leaving confident that he just added another client to his list, then made his way back to the office.

Once he had left, Pam felt a small weight lift. She didn’t think about her dream (or what she did after) the whole time he was gone. As soon as he walked in the door however, she felt a flutter through her belly.

He smiled at her, the flutter in her belly spreading a warmth through her whole body as she smiled back. The blush was there, he noted. But her eyes sparkled now as she looked at him, instead of seeming to hide from his gaze.

“Any messages?” He asked.

“Nope.” Pam smiled. “Gallagher called, Stanley took their order.”

He thumbed a jelly bean out of the dispenser. “Great.” He said happily.

“How’d the meeting go?” She asked.

“Really good.” He responded. “I think they're gonna make the switch.” 

She smiled brightly at him. “That’s awesome!” 

He smiled in return, nodding, keeping his eyes on hers for a moment before walking back to his desk. 

She eyed him as he sat down, trying not to focus on the muscles in his forearms as he slid his sleeves up. She closed her eyes briefly before training them on her computer screen and finishing her game of solitaire.

\----

They sat at the kitchen island that night eating dinner. It was quiet. They had shared familiar exchanges through the rest of the day. And more while they made dinner. But the air was still foggy with whatever was on Pam’s mind. Jim figured he wouldn’t bring it up. She was still mulling something around and after all, she did just end an eleven year relationship. And it was a kind of messy break, not clean cut as I’m sure she would have wanted it to be. There were bound to be some things she had to process. 

And he respected her enough to let her do it. Loved her enough to simply be there as she worked through it. No matter what his mind was telling him.

They were getting ready for bed. Pam had showered and changed. She was sitting on the bed, a book in hand as he changed for his shower.

“So tomorrow I think everyone is going out for drinks.” He said. “Happy hour at Poor Richards.” He continued.

She raised her eyes from her book to look at him. “That could be fun.” She said, pausing before she continued. “I don’t know if I want to tell anyone yet.” 

He looked over at her, a small pang of overthinking anxiety hitting him. Not that he wanted to tell their co workers yet either, but hearing her say the words after she had been acting strange all day, hit him differently than it normally would. 

“That’s fine,” He replied. “We can go separately, we don’t have to go as ‘Jim and Pam’ yet.” He emphasized their names and she smiled slightly.

Her eyes followed his hands as he lifted his shirt over his head, tossing it to the hamper. She stared at his back, then his chest as he turned around, the familiar heat rising in her cheeks. She buried her nose back in her book.

Jim saw her expression, and the red that started creeping up her neck again. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Okay, you're freaking me out.” He said sternly as he turned to her. 

She raised her eyes from the book, the blush in her cheeks filling out fully as he stood before her in just his slacks.

“What?” She said, trying to keep her tone even.

“You’ve been acting weird all day.” He said, sitting on the bed. “And now it’s starting to mess with my head.” She could see the anxiety in his eyes and felt another pang of guilt. “”Pam, talk to me.” He continued. “What’s going on?”

She stared at him for a beat, her own anxiety about the conversation melting away as she looked at him. She put the book down on the night table, crossed her legs, leaning forward, and took his hand.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I don’t ever want to make you feel like,” She paused looking for the words, “there’s something wrong when there’s not.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

“So what’s going on?” He repeated. “You can talk to me about anything.”

She closed her eyes, slowly pulling her hand away as her body buzzed at the sensation of his thumb running down the back of her hand. She inhaled as she opened her eyes, looking at Jim again.

“I had a dream.” She said, immediately looking to the comforter.

“Okay…” Jim started. “Like a Martin Luther King dream, or a Freddy Kruger Dream?”

She smiled, closing her eyes. She took another breath. “More like an X-rated raunchy romance novel dream.” She looked up at him then. “About you.”

Now Jim’s cheeks filled with the same pink hue that hers had. “Oh?” He said.

She nodded, looking back to the comforter. “I don’t know how I feel about it.” She said. “It’s not like me to think about things like that.”  
When she looked back at him, he was looking at the comforter too. Not in a million years did he think that would be the reason she was acting strange. The idea of this woman, this perfect, stunning woman, had a dream about him? A dream about him... like that? He felt a small tingle of desire run down his spine at the thought.

He paused for a moment, then slowly raised his eyes. “Well, what was I doing?” He jested, smirking.

Pam let out a small giggle. “Stuff.” She said. He looked at her, smiling.

“Stuff?” He pressed.

“I don’t know.” She continued. “I thought about it and,” she paused, trying to remain confident. “You’ve been so wonderful, and kind, and perfect,” she paused again, looking at him. “And you’ve been... sort of… letting me take the lead on things.” 

She took his hands then. “And I cannot tell you how much I love you for that.” His smile gave her the boldness to continue. “I think, I wouldn’t mind if… maybe… you… took the lead.”

He stared at her, relieved that she was talking, and that this issue was not something bad. In fact, it was the complete opposite. The woman he loved more than anything in the world was sitting in front of him telling him to take the lead. 

He swallowed hard. “...I can do that.” He said.

She smiled smally at him. She felt the familiar warmth in her belly at his words, and felt it rise as she watched his throat as he swallowed. “Okay.” She nodded, a glaze covering her eyes.

He picked up on it, and slowly leaned in to kiss her. He was gentle when their lips met. Slow as he parted her mouth with his tongue, tasting her, loving her. He slowly leaned her back onto the bed and held his body over her. He settled his hips between her legs and she sighed as he trailed kisses down her neck. His own body buzzed at the sounds she made. He sat back on his legs as he lifted her shirt over her head.

Pam could feel the heat between her legs pooling as he looked at her hungrily. He leaned back down, snaking his arms underneath her and grasping her shoulders as his lips closed around one nipple. She squirmed and bucked into him with every flick of his tongue. He alternated between sides, gently sucking at her. Her soft moans fell from her lips and her body was warm.

She was warm, but she wanted to be on fire. She wanted to see white.

She also knew, Mark was home. And in the next room. 

She lifted Jim’s head, a small whimper escaping as the cold air hit her.

“You still need to shower right?” She asked him through hooded eyes. He nodded and she smirked.


	11. Chapter 11

Shower sex is difficult. Anyone that says otherwise is lying. And while wonderful and steamy, it still didn’t scratch the itch just right. Pam laid in bed next to Jim, she was curled up, head on his chest. Neither of them fully asleep yet. She thought about her dream, and the subsequent fantasy that followed. 

She thought about his words. That was what had excited her the most. The contrast of knowing Jim as the perfect gentleman, then hearing him say such vulgar things was ironically hot, and just the thought of it had her aroused again.

She lifted her head slightly.”Hey,” she whispered.

“Mmm?” He breathed. She paused for a minute.

“Nevermind.” She said, resting her head back down.

“No, whats up?” He asked.

She shook her head on his chest. “Nothing,” she replied. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

He moved then to turn the light on. He rested his weight on his elbows as he looked at her. “Spill it Beesly.”

She sighed before laying on her own pillow. She stared at the ceiling, then closed her eyes. “What do you think about…” She could barely bring herself to say the words. She swallowed before continuing “...Dirty talk?”

She opened one of her eyes to gauge his reaction. 

He stared at her for a moment, processing. Then the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. “Is that something you want?” he asked, his voice slightly taunting. 

She looked at him. “Not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

He shook his head, looking down. “Not at all.” He said, raising his eyes to her. There was a distant glimmer to them as he spoke. “It’s certainly something we could try.” He said, leaning to her slowly. His voice became lower, raspier, “And if it’s something you don’t like…” he trailed his hand slowly up her bare thigh beneath the sheets. “You can tell me to stop.” 

There was the fire.

She could feel it deep within her and it started slowly burning as his fingertips traced from her knees to her hip.

She closed her eyes, “Okay.”

“How about this.” He said, bringing his lips to her jaw. “I’ll start talking. And you tell me what you like, or don’t like.” His fingers were running gently up her sides and her breathing quickened.

She nodded. He trailed his hand up to her jaw, grasping it warmly as he kissed her. She arched into the kiss, her hand going to his forearm.

He pressed his lips to her ear, moving his hand to her breast, over her night shirt.

“Do you like it when I touch you?” He asked.

“Yes.” She breathed.

He rubbed his thumb over her nipple, smiling in her ear as it hardened underneath his touch. He moaned softly. “I love how you react when I touch you.” He flicked his thumb over her again and a small whimper fell from her lips. “I love the sounds you make.” He flicked again and she arched her back. “I love how you move.” He flicked again. “I love seeing you squirm.”

Everything he said fanned the fire in her belly further, she could feel her arousal between her legs.

His whole hand covered her breast and he gently squeezed, a guttural groan in the back of his throat. “I love your perfect tits.”

And her body was on fire. Whether it was the word, or the small bite on her earlobe that sent her into a frenzy, she wasn’t sure, but she bit back a moan and turned, grasping his face and kissed him hard, swinging a leg over his hip.

“Touch me.” She begged raggedly. “Please.”

He smiled as he kissed her and moved his hand to her core, moaning into her mouth as he felt her wet. He wasted no time sliding two fingers into her. She hummed in response, kissing him back. He started moving faster as he broke from the kiss.

“God, you get so wet for me.” He breathed against her lips. A direct quote from her fantasy that sounded so much better in real life. Her breaths were quick and ragged. 

“Tell me to come.” She breathed. “Please, Jim..”

His eyes became cloudy, as he stared at her. Her eyes closed, heavily breathing, as she begged him, his own arousal, fully erect beneath him. He added his thumb, gently rubbing around her clit and she arched into him further, another whimper on her lips.

“Come for me, Pam.” He demanded as he pumped his fingers faster. She shuddered around him, her orgasm quickly hitting her. He stopped moving his hand and let her ride it out. After a moment, he slowly removed his fingers from her, resting them on her hip. Her eyes were still closed.

He kissed her forehead as she caught her breath “How was that?” He asked, smiling.

She snapped her eyes open and it was not the Pam he knew staring at him. He had never seen this look of desire on her face. She said nothing, just quickly rolled him to his back with a strength he didn’t know she had. Her mouth went to his neck and her hand to his erection. He breathily moaned at her touch and she sighed in response, feeling him fully hard in her hand. She stroked the length of him and kissed her way down his chest. 

He didn’t have time to stop her as she hungrily pulled down his boxers. Barely getting out a “Pam, wai--” before she took him in her mouth. She delighted in hearing the new moan escape his throat as she slid her lips over the length of him. A moan she had never heard before that sent the fire inside her ablaze and she thought she might combust. She only wished she could hear it louder. She made a note to be sure to try this again when they were home alone.

She could feel her own arousal increase with every moan, every breath, every grunt as she took him deeper and dragged her tongue against him. She lifted herself away from him, noting his hands clenched on the bed. She lightly placed her hands on top of his, looking him in the eyes.

“Don’t stop talking.” She said. As she lowered herself back down. She licked at him and sucked, and tortured him in all the delicious ways he did to her. 

“Jesus, Pam…” he breathed, feeling his own orgasm building.

She released him, looking up at him. “Dirtier.” She said as she sank her mouth back down onto him. He held back the moan in his throat. She could feel his hands clench underneath her own. His breathing became faster. “God, Pam… you’re gonna make me come.” 

She trailed her tongue up the length of him, shaking her head. She stopped before she closed her lips around him again, “Dirtier.” She demanded, moving his hands to her hair. She took him into her throat, sliding slowly around him, humming as she did. She kept her hands against his, forcing him to hold her in place. Her mouth was hot and wet and Jim saw stars when she shallowly moved her head, her nose, just brushing his pelvis.

She felt his hands tighten in her hair as the slow, “Fuck...” Fell from his lips. 

That’s when she saw white. She started moving faster, feeling her arousal dripping between her legs. She wanted more than anything to hear him say it again, to keep hearing his moans, to feel him hot and heavy in her mouth. To say she was on fire was an understatement. She had exploded.

Then, she was on her back. 

She looked up at him, confused, then saw the same lust in his eyes and she smiled. He said nothing, just captured her lips with his, kissing her feverishly. He was everywhere, he covered her completely, his hands roaming over her body, her breasts, in her hair, around her legs, until they settled on her hips. He leaned back on his legs again, grasping her hips tightly as he entered her slowly, reveling in her hum of pleasure as he filled her. She was warm and pulsing around him. He stared at her, staying up right. He slowly moved her hips against him, setting the pace. It was as usual. Slow. Excruciatingly slow. 

“Please…” She begged. He grinned as he moved a little faster. Loving the quiet sighs from the back of her throat, and the feeling of his hips hitting her thighs with each thrust.

“Please Jim…” She whined. “I’m not a china doll,” she said between breaths. “You’re not going to break me.”

He moved a little faster before his eyes clouded over again, the sound of his hips hitting her becoming audible. 

“Touch yourself.” he said. She felt herself pulse around him and trailed her hand down her body, rubbing slow circles around her swollen clit.

He moaned, watching her, trying to hold off his own climax long enough.

“Please Jim… please,” she breathed. “I’m so close.” 

“Tell me what you want.” He demanded, thrusting into her slower. She breathily whined in response “What do you want, Pam?” 

She clawed at the sheets around her, her fingers moving furiously against her. “Harder.” She begged.

“Dirtier.” He growled. She whined in response, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to bring herself to the edge.

“Look at me.” He demanded. “”Tell me what you want, Pam.”

She breathed heavily, staring directly into his eyes. “I want you to fuck me.”

He felt a wave of primal lust wash over him as he gripped her hips tighter and thrust into her, hard. He kept thrusting hard and fast. He was setting the pace, he was holding her hips down, and she was at his mercy. She felt her orgasm build faster, the harder be pumped into her. His hands went from her hips, to the backs of her knees, pinning them to her chest. He kept thrusting harder, his soft grunts matching her muffled cries as she covered her mouth. 

Her orgasm broke and crashed around her as he kept pumping into her hard. His moans grew louder, and louder, then silent as he released inside her. She pulsed around him, shaking, hot and sweaty. He released her legs and collapsed on top of her, breathing heavy.

It took a minute for them each to catch their breath. They laid there, feeling the rise and fall of each other’s chest.

He smiled into her cheek. She was still out of breath when he asked, “Dirty enough?”

She just softly giggled and wrapped her arms around him tighter.

\----

So, as it turned out, Pamela Beesly had a sexual side that neither Jim or herself ever quite knew about. They talked about it some the following day. Talking to Jim had always been easy, but she never figured it would be this easy. She would skirt around the subject or talk in innuendos with Roy, but with Jim, it was comfortable, easy, safe. Sure she would blush or cast her gaze to her fingernails, but he would take her hand, and her nervousness would melt away.

And if it were possible, he fell in love with her even more. This incredible woman not only loved him for all his weird quirks and flaws, but was able to share every part of herself with him. And _wanted_ to.

They made it through the work day, pushing through the boredom, waiting for five o’clock to come.

They took separate cars to Poor Richards and sat opposite each other at the table. Oscar generously bought the first round and the evening was filled with laughter and smiles. 

After a while, people started dispersing. Angela went home after one drink, Dwight left soon after. Kevin moved to another table with Meredith to play Keno and Creed sat himself at the bar. Kelly went to grab herself and Pam another drink, leaving her with Jim, Toby, and Ryan. They were in a heated discussion about sports.

Pam couldn’t help letting her eyes linger on Jim. He was passionate about the topic they were on, and he spoke with such confidence and fervor. She admired him, looking back to Toby or Ryan at the appropriate moments, but always falling back on Jim.

Kelly plopped herself down next to Pam, sliding the cosmo glass in front of her. Pam looked to the glass, then to Kelly.

“Geeze you go all out!” Pam chuckled as Kelly grinned. 

“That,” she started, “is not from me.” She said beaming. She looked to the bar. “It’s from him.”

Pam looked to the bar. A handsome man in dress slacks and a button down waved to her. She shyly waved back.

“He is so sweet,” Kelly continued, “he wanted to buy us both drinks. So flattering right? But I told him I was taken and he was super nice about it. But then I told him that you are single,” she said, nudging Pam with her elbow, “and in the market.”

Pam looked at Kelly, shock in her eyes. “Kelly!”

“What?!” She responded. “You need to get back out there, Pam! Get your feet wet.” She smiled as she sipped her own drink. “He’s a perfect opportunity.”

Pam scoffed as she looked back to the man. He held up his drink in a cheers motion and after a beat, Pam reluctantly returned the gesture before taking a sip. 

Jim’s ears perked up at Kelly’s comment, and he slyly took note of the gentleman at the bar. He continued his conversation with Ryan and Toby, but was only half listening. He was focused on Kelly and Pam’s conversation.

Jim had never really been the overtly jealous type. Hell, he spent three years watching the woman he loves go home with another man. Even with past girlfriends, it wasn’t an issue. He had even been cheated on and sure it had hurt, but it was nothing compared to the feeling deep in his gut right now.

He made a quick look over his shoulder. He seemed nice enough, dressed in business casual clothes, probably there for post work drinks like the rest of them. And he wasn't an unattractive man. Which made it all the worse that he had his eyes on Pam. His Pam. He hated to even think it, even scolded himself for it, but dammit he had waited three years for her and now some other man was eyeing her.

He took another sip of his drink and tried to turn the focus back to the conversation before him.

Pam noted the change in Jim. She knew he was only half involved with the discussion Ryan had started about the Chicago Bulls. She quietly sipped her drink as Kelly went on a rant about some celebrity, all the while keeping an eye on the man at the bar.

After they had finished their drinks, Kelly went to the bathroom and after scanning the room and meeting the man’s gaze again, Pam quickly followed.

When she came out, Kelly was back at the bar and the man seemed to be putting on his jacket to leave. Pam scurried back to the table, her eyes down. When she looked up, the man was gone. Kelly was on her way back to the table with two waters.

“Excuse me?” A voice came from behind her. “Is this seat taken?” The man from the bar asked her. Before she could answer, Kelly sat in front of them.

“Not at all!” Kelly smiled.

The man looked back to Pam. She reluctantly smiled. “I guess not.” She replied.

She darted her eyes to Jim. He was staring at the man, his eyebrows turned up slightly. Ryan and Toby looked over as he sat down, but continued talking after a beat.

Kelly sipped her water, her eyes switching between Pam and the man from the bar.

“I’m Chase.” He said, extending his hand. Pam shyly shook it. “Pam.” She replied, a small smile on her face.

He smiled, staring into her eyes. “Pam.” He repeated, holding her hand for a beat before releasing it.

Jim’s eyes were on Chase’s hand holding Pam’s and he could feel the heat rising in his chest.

Pam placed both her hands on the water in front of her and awkwardly fumbled with the straw. 

“So, Pam.” Chase started. “I was wondering if maybe I could ask you to dinner sometime.” He looked down at his hands. “If you wanted to that is.” He looked back up at her.

She could feel herself blush. She looked back at him and smiled shyly. “Thank you.” She said. “That’s very sweet, but…” she looked to Kelly, her mouth agape in horror. “I’m just not really in a place to date right now.”

Chase smiled at her, nodding. “Understood.”

He went to stand, reaching into his jacket’s breast pocket. “But when you are,” he handed her his business card. “Give me a call.” 

She felt her blush deepen as she smiled, taking the card from his hands.

He put his hand on her shoulder and lowered his voice. She kept her eyes forward as he talked.

“I think you are an incredibly beautiful woman,” he paused, his fingers dusting a lock of hair off her shoulder, “and I would be honored to get to know you.”

Pam’s breath caught in her throat as she turned her head to look at him. He was already stepping back, leaving her with one more smile as he turned to leave.

The table fell quiet for a moment.

“Oh. My. God.” Kelly started.

“Score one for Pam.” Ryan laughed.

Pam looked over at them. Toby was quiet and Jim’s eyes were still on the door. “Wow.” He quipped, looking back at Pam.

“Pam?!” Kelly exclaimed, “Why in the world would you let that man walkout of here?”

Pam shrugged, a small smile on her face as she thumbed the card in her hand. “He’s just not my type.” She looked to Kelly who held a dumbfounded look on her face, then to Jim. The corner of his mouth was turned up slightly.

“Not your type?!” Kelly continued, “Tall, blonde, and gorgeous is not your type?”

Pam shrugged again. “I guess not.”

“Ugh.” Kelly dramatically let her head fall to the table.

——

They finished out the evening and paid their tabs. Pam couldn’t read Jim. After Chase had left, something was different, but she couldn’t figure it out. His laughs seemed almost forced, his smiles just slightly tighter than usual, his eyes not quite sparkling, but not normal either. 

To anyone else, nothing would have looked or seemed different. But Pam could tell.

After Kelly scolded her numerous times for letting ‘Adonis’ in a suit walk away, she finally dropped it. Slowly but surely the rest of the office filtered out, including Jim. She was the last one to pay her tab and hit the bathroom one more time before walking to the parking lot.

Jim was leaning against his car that was parked next to hers. 

“Hey.” She smiled. 

Hey,” he responded. Pam scanned the parking lot, ensuring the rest of their coworkers left before moving into him, sliding her arms around his waist and pressing her lips to his. 

He was warm, but unmoving. She leaned back to look at him. He stared back at her softly.

“So Chase?” He started, a half smile spreading on his face. Pam dug her face into his chest.

“That was so embarrassing.” She said. “That’s never happened to me before.”

“Really?” He asked.

“Really,” She replied looking back up at him. “Aside from peeing all over me, Roy made it very clear to guys that I was off limits when we would go out.”

“What about with Penny or with friends?”

Pam shook her head. “Penny always dressed in a far more enticing way than I did and I never really went out with friends.”

“Well,” he sighed. “He did have a point about you being incredibly beautiful.” He moved a hand to cup her face. He was smiling, but something about his tone was off.

She paused before she asked, “You’re not jealous are you?” She jested.

He rolled his eyes scoffing.

“Oh my god you are?” She asked, her tone losing its humor and taking on an empathetic one.

He wrapped his arms around her tighter, shrugging as he stared back at her. “So what if I am?”

A slow smile broke out on her face as she lifted herself and pressed her lips to his again. “I’d be okay with that.” She said quietly. She kissed him again then added, “it’s kind of hot.”

He smiled into her kiss. “Yeah?”

“Mhm.” She nodded in return. She broke away from him, her hands falling to his chest. “I know you enough to know you won’t wail on a guy for daring to look at me.” She said, “But it’s nice to feel wanted.”

He hummed, leaning down to kiss her again then brought his lips to her ear. “Let me show you just how much.”


	12. Chapter 12

He was everywhere. It was a side of Jim that she hadn’t seen. And a side she was hungry to see more of. He wasn’t lying, he intended to show her _exactly_ how much she was wanted. How much he wanted her. How much he needed her.

Everything seemed the norm when they arrived back at Jim’s apartment. They made small talk with Mark while winding down from the day. Mark was staying at a friend’s house that night and Pam could see the slight mischievous gleam in Jim’s eye at the news.

It wasn’t until Mark had left and driven down the road that Jim turned to Pam. His stare was intense and she fell silent under his gaze. He quietly walked up to her and she felt a heat rise in her cheeks at his expression. His eyes were dark, glazed over, and heavy. He didn’t touch her, didn’t move a muscle. He just stood in front of her, chests barely touching. Breathing in and out evenly, and just, staring.

She felt her breath hitch as his gaze moved from her eyes to her lips. But then, he stepped away.

“Follow me.” He said as he turned to the staircase. There was a raspiness to his voice. It made her knees weak. She followed him up the stairs.

He walked into the bathroom waiting for her to enter before he shut the door. She looked at him with questioning eyes, almost asking the question, but he silenced her before she got the chance, gently pressing his lips to hers as his hands moved to her hips. He slowly guided her to the edge of the sink, turning her to face the mirror and pressing his chest against her back.

“Pam,” He started, moving her hair off her shoulder and placing small kisses down her neck, “I don’t think…” He kissed back up her neck, “You realize…” His lips teased her ear, “How stunning you truly are…” she leaned back into him, her entire body warm at his touch.

He moved his hands to the buttons on her shirt, slowly undoing them.

“How beautiful…” He opened two more buttons. “Funny…” he wrapped his hands around her stomach, “Kind…” He placed another light kiss on her neck, “Genuine…” She breathed in his words, her head swimming, “And incredibly… sexy…” He moved his hands to her shoulders, sliding off her top, “you are…”

He moved the rest of her hair off her shoulders. Her eyes were closed, a small smile on her face and her head turned slightly into his. He captured her lips with his as his hands moved to her breasts. His hands were large and warm and knew exactly how to touch her. She sighed into his mouth as his thumbs grazed her nipples. He slowly, teasingly circled around them once, twice, three times before he grazed them again. Her breathing quickened as he repeated the same motion three more times. She could feel the heat between her legs increase with each touch, the gentleness of his caresses driving her mad.

After a moment his hands moved to her back, unclasping the bra and letting it fall to the floor. He broke from the kiss and moved his hands to her hips. Her eyes were still closed. He looked to the mirror.

“Look at me.” He said. She slowly opened her eyes, looking at him in the mirror. His eyes were cloudy, they matched her own. His cheeks were flushed, just like hers. It was a tantalizing sight.

“Watch.” He said softly.

She followed his hands, moving back up her bare stomach to her breasts. She watched him gently trail his fingers around her breasts, until finally his thumbs resumed their place over her. She shifted her gaze between his thumbs, teasing her nipples, to his face watching her reaction. It was the most erotic thing she had ever done.

To not only feel what he was doing to her, but to see it, and to see what it was doing to him. She felt her arousal hot between her legs.

With each flick of his thumb, she began whimpering, her nipples tight and alert, they both followed his hand as he unzipped her skirt, sliding it off her hips. It pooled around her ankles and she kicked it away. His hand moved slowly around the dark blue cotton of her underwear, touching everywhere except where she needed it most. Her hips involuntarily jumped when he traced against the hemline on her abdomen. She saw him smile in her ear, still gazing into her eyes before slowly hooking his fingers through the hem and sliding them off.

She was completely bare in front of the mirror. The look in Jim’s eyes was indescribable. If it were possible, his eyes were even darker, half lidded, and his tongue darted out, licking his lips slightly upon seeing her arousal coating her where his fingers were begging to explore.

He placed his foot gently between hers, nudging her legs apart. Pam felt a wave of excitement flood her at the action. He wrapped one arm around her waist before he slowly placed one finger on her clit. A breathy moan escaped her throat.

“No one is here.” He said darkly in her ear. “I want to hear every beautiful sound you have to make.”

She closed her eyes again, her head falling back to his shoulder as he moved slow, gentle circles around her.

“And I want you to keep looking.” He breathed.

She slowly opened her eyes, taking in the sight of his hand, delicate and teasing between her legs.

“I want you to see just how goddamn perfect you are...” He started moving faster, she moaned.

“How beautiful…” He held her tighter as he hummed a groan of approval in her ear.

She rocked her hips in rhythm with his fingers, looking for more. He knew. When her moans became louder he slipped one finger inside her, reveling in the loud groan that fell from her mouth. He teased her with one for a moment, before adding another. She was even louder and he could feel his erection pressing painfully against his khakis.

She needed more and she lifted her leg, placing her toes on the counter. He moaned in her ear as he moved his fingers deeper, eliciting even louder cries from Pam. He added his thumb, resuming circles over her clit as he buried his fingers, moving them deep inside her. He almost came at the sight of her, her half lidded eyes staring at his hand working her fervently, her mouth open just slightly, and the sounds, god, the sounds she made.

She moved her gaze back to his eyes in the mirror.

“Don’t stop…” she breathed. “Don’t stop Jim…” She moaned. “I’m so close…” He stared back at her.

“I’m not…” He breathed in her ear, “not stopping until you come…” he could feel her start clenching around his fingers and he knew she was there. “Come for me, Pam.”

Her eyes rolled back and her head fell to his shoulder as she cried out. He could feel her pulsing around his fingers as she reached her climax and he slowed his movements. Her hips jerked back and forth and he held her tighter as she came down. Her breathing was loud, whining as it went back to normal. He kept his fingers inside her, feeling her soak his hand. He wanted to taste her, wanted to see her come again, come harder.

He slowly removed his fingers and she whimpered. Her eyes followed his hand as he brought it to his mouth. She felt the heat of her arousal return when he moaned at the taste of her. Before she had a chance to fully come down, her feet were off the floor.

She yelped as Jim picked her up in his arms and urgently rushed into his bedroom. She yelped again when he dropped her on the bed, grasping her hips, pushing her further up. Her head hit the pillows and he kneeled above her. She watched, enjoying the view as he undid his tie, lifting it over his head and quickly making work of the buttons on his shirt, tossing it to the side, followed by his undershirt. He stared into her eyes intensely as he removed his belt.

He couldn’t wait any longer. He crashed his lips to hers, spreading her knees, he kissed down her neck, swirling his tongue around her nipples. He stayed there, sucking, teasing, breathing, licking, he grazed his teeth over her and she whined, writhing underneath him.

She opened her eyes feeling him gone, only to feel his hot tongue slide up the length of her core. She moaned loudly again. He smiled against her.

“God, I love the sounds you make.” He said, his words vibrating through her.

He plunged his tongue inside of her, tasting every inch of her. She bucked her hips, breathing heavily. He ran his hands up the backs of her thighs to the back of her knees and spread her even wider, pinning her knees back. She could feel the hot coil in her belly ready to snap again.

She whimpered at each lick he ran up the length of her, at each flick of his tongue against her clit. He was everywhere. And she saw white when he closed his lips around her clit, sucking and flicking his tongue hard against her.

She went silent as her second orgasm ripped through her. Her legs were shaking and he was moaning into her creating new sensations that made her orgasm last. He removed his lips from her clit and gently tasted her as she came down. Her breathing was heavy and as her vision came back to normal he moved up to kiss her again.

She was sweet and tangy on his lips as she lazily kissed him, her breathing still heavy.

He held himself over her, slowly and lovingly kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him, forcing him to put his weight on her. A slow smile dusted her lips as she felt him hard and heavy against her thigh.

After a minute, she whispered in his ear. “Turn over.”

“Sorry,” he started, chucking, “I didn’t mean to crush you.” He rolled to his side.

“You didn’t.” She replied smiling. She looked at him on his side. “Keep going.” She said, motioning for him to lie on his back.

He obeyed and she turned to her side, placing a hand to his cheek and kissing him deeply. “So you know… what you said about wanting to hear… every sound?” She asked between breaths.

“Mhm.” He replied, moving his lips against hers.

She trailed her hand down his chest to the button of his pants. “Same goes for you.” She undid the button and zipper and he inhaled sharply as she moved her hand over him.

He let out a low grunt as she stroked him slowly. She smiled as his hips jerked at each movement.

“Take these off.” She whispered. He quickly slid down his pants and underwear, kicking them off.

He let a louder moan fall from his lips as she closed her hand around him. She slowly slid her hand up to his tip and rolled her palm there a few times, his louder moans sending electricity down her spine. She moved her body on top of his, moving lower.

He grabbed her wrist. “Pam--” He started, but she interrupted him by grabbing his hand instead. She moved his hand to her cheek. “I want to taste you.” She said, a flash of desire in her eyes that sent a heat through his body. He was speechless as she lowered herself, taking him in one hand and slowly running her tongue from his base to his tip.

His eyes closed and he breathed in sharply again.

“Look at me.” She repeated his earlier request and his eyes met hers. She swirled her tongue around his tip and her arousal pulled again in her belly at the sounds he made. He was breathy but loud. She flicked her tongue around him, teasing him as he did to her, and she took pleasure in the feeling of his hips bucking up from the bed.

“Pam…” He breathed. “Please…”

She smiled as she slowly took him in her mouth. The loud groan coming from him vibrating through her and making her take him even deeper. She stayed there for a moment as his breathing became faster. She slowly moved up, dragged her tongue against him and sucked hard around his tip before releasing him.

The short “Ah,” from the back of his throat caused a new smile to spread on her face as he looked at her with pleading eyes.

His breathing was ragged as he begged her. “Pam…”

She closed her mouth around him again, moving shallowly before taking him into her throat without warning. He was even louder now. She stayed there, her nose at his pelvis and moaned around him. Her moan was drowned out by his own.

“God, Pam…” He groaned.

She started moving faster, her hands reaching what her mouth couldn’t and he started whimpering above her.

His hands went to her hair. Just resting there for a moment, letting her keep her pace around him. But then, his hands tightened in her hair as his cries became louder.

He roughly pulled her off of him. She raised herself up, his hands still in her hair, his breathing shaky. He was shaking his head. “No..” He said between breaths, “I don’t--” he started, “I can’t--” He tried finding the words as his breathing came back to normal, “Not like this.” He said.

She looked at him with glazed eyes. “Then how?” She asked.

He pulled her towards him, kissing her. “I want to be inside you.”

She smiled into his kiss, moving her legs to straddle him. She took him in her hands and slowly guided him. She was wet with arousal again as he entered her. She let out a content sigh as he filled her fully. She stared at him waiting until he opened his eyes again.

“I want to watch you come inside of me.” She breathed against his lips. He moaned at her words and she sat upright, slowly rolling her hips. He whined as she kept a slow pace, his hands moving to the sides of her thighs. He started bucking his hips into just slightly, getting closer with every whimper that fell from her lips.

He stared at her, her face flushed, breasts jumping slightly with each thrust, her hands over his on her thighs.

She started moving faster. His moans got louder as she did, she knew he was close the way his abdomen was tightening beneath her. “Come inside me, Jim...” She breathed, “I want to feel you...” His grip on her thighs tightened as he groaned, he started thrusting harder. “I want to hear you moan, Jim… Come inside me baby… please...”

His climax hit and his vision went blurry. He thrust up into her, his eyes squeezed shut, breathing through his moans. It was a glorious sight, and Pam burned it into her memory.

She stayed upright as he finished. It took a minute, but his breathing returned to normal. She looked at him the whole time, gently running her hands up and down his chest, reveling in the feeling of him pulsing inside of her as he came down. Finally, he opened his eyes to the ceiling, then let his gaze drift to her.

His smile matched hers as he pulled her to him. He gently kissed her, his hands going to her hair.

“I love you… so much.” He breathed against her lips.

She smiled, returning his kiss. “I love you too.” She parted his lips with her tongue, kissing him deeper. When they finally broke away, she rested her head on his chest. They laid there for a moment, both slick with sweat.

“Shower?” He asked. She nodded, not looking up.

“Shower.” She agreed.

\----


End file.
